IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Do you think the trend of buying new clothes is positive or negative?

Fashion is becoming more and more important in choosing new designed
clothes
Use synonyms
 and accessories. It is true that new
clothes
Use synonyms
 make us fashionable and stunning, while, we cannot deny that the number of abandoned
clothes
Use synonyms
 is increasing day by day. So I believe that keeping buying new
clothes
Use synonyms
 will cause negative problems.
First
Linking Words
, we are living in a
colorful
Change the spelling
colourful
show examples
 world which is surrounded by newly designed products and advertisements. We hardly refuse those appealing materials, so in order to stay in fashion, we purchase
stuffs
Change the wording
stuff
kinds of stuff
pieces of stuff
show examples
 rather
than
Correct word choice
that
show examples
 we really need. Every year we see the issue through media: overconsumption is more serious than before and it makes tremendous waste pollution.
Second
Linking Words
, Government should establish policies to reduce the quantity of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
waste. They could set up some organizations to recycle old
clothes
Use synonyms
 and donate them to undeveloped areas.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should encourage local companies to create secondhand goods business, on which users can upload their used but still
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
good quality
clothes
Use synonyms
 for sale and others can buy new
clothes
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 a more affordable price.
For instance
Linking Words
, there is an app in China, and it is becoming popular, because it provides a platform for users to
sale
Replace the word
sell
show examples
 their used products, and it is cultivating people to accept a more sustainable lifestyle. Lots of celebrities are showing us they declutter old belongings and donate their
clothes
Use synonyms
 to certain organizations. In conclusion, to be a fashionable person is no longer required to wear
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
fabulous.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, leading a life in an environment-friendly style will make
us
Change the pronoun
our
show examples
 stay
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 trend.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: