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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some students work while studying. This often results in lacking time for education and constantly feeling under pressure.What do you think are the causes of this?What solutions can you suggest?

#students #work #results #time #education #pressure
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Certain
students
Use synonyms
 are working while they pursue their higher education. Usually,
its
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 could
be result
Change the verb form
result
show examples
 in lacking
time
Use synonyms
 for education and
contantly
Correct your spelling
constantly
 feeling under pressure because
students
Use synonyms
Correct your spelling
manage
manange
Correct your spelling
manage
 two roles
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the same
time
Use synonyms
. Many
students
Use synonyms
 have difficulty
to
Change the verb form
focusing
show examples
focus
Use synonyms
 on their subject in
Use synonyms
study
Add an article
the study
show examples
 while they are working to
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
 their job
task
Fix the agreement mistake
tasks
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, when they need to do overtime because of the deadline in their
Correct your spelling
workplace
show examples
work place
Correct your spelling
workplace
show examples
 and their supervisor is demanding them to do it fast.
For example
Linking Words
, a friend of mine, Mia,
she
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
got a minimum passing grade because she is not able to submit
final
Correct article usage
the final
show examples
 project because she needs to stay in the office overnight during the weekend.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it seems that
its
Correct your spelling
it's
show examples
 hard to
focus
Use synonyms
 on
Use synonyms
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
 when the requirements are
high
Change preposition
in high
show examples
 demand.
As a result
Linking Words
, lack of
time
Use synonyms
 can cause
bad
Correct article usage
a bad
show examples
 score and
axienty
Correct your spelling
anxiety
on
Change preposition
about
show examples
Add an article
the feeling
a feeling
show examples
feeling
Fix the agreement mistake
feelings
show examples
 of someone. Open communication
to
Change preposition
between
show examples
 the company and institution could be a solution to
handle
Wrong verb form
handling
show examples
lack
Correct article usage
the lack
show examples
 of
focus
Use synonyms
 for both
study
Use synonyms
 and
working
Replace the word
work
show examples
.
In other words
Linking Words
,
Add an article
the employee
an employee
show examples
employee
Fix the agreement mistake
employees
show examples
 can arrange a working hour schedule
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the same
time
Use synonyms
manage
Correct word choice
as manage
show examples
 their
supervisor
Change noun form
supervisor's
show examples
 expectation by telling them that he/she is taking a degree to enhance their career .
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
 the other side, as a student,
employee
Add an article
an employee
the employee
show examples
 might communicate to the academic division to take less credit or ask a
Correct your spelling
permission
permition
Correct your spelling
permission
 to take less credit compared to ordinary
students
Use synonyms
.
Thus
Linking Words
,
students
Use synonyms
 who are working can take more
time
Use synonyms
 to
study
Use synonyms
 and
less
Change preposition
under less
show examples
 pressure.
As a
Linking Words
result
Add a comma
,result
show examples
 they can
Add a missing verb
be
show examples
more
consentrate
Correct your spelling
concentrate
concentrated
 in their
study
Use synonyms
. To conclude,
Use synonyms
study
Wrong verb form
studying
show examples
 while working can cause
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of
focus
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
,
students
Use synonyms
 can do open
Correct your spelling
communication
communcation
Correct your spelling
communication
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the company and education institution to maintain their performance
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 both sides.
Submitted by miarosmia8 on

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Financial necessity
  • Tuition
  • Living costs
  • Employability
  • Work experience
  • Under pressure
  • Mismanagement
  • Time-management
  • Academic pursuits
  • Flexible part-time study
  • Financial aid
  • Scholarships
  • Bursaries
  • Collaboration
  • Integrated programs
  • Education
  • Work-life balance
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