Some people feel that fashion is like art and a significant part of society, while others feel that fashion is a waste of time and money. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

There are individuals who argue that vogue is a kind of art and is almost an inevitable
part
of their daily routine,
whereas
others share the opposite opinion and claim that
fashion
is a waste of finances and time. Personally, I strongly believe that the latter approach is true. There is no denying the conviction that the
fashion
industry is mostly a
part
of the highly consumerist
western
Capitalize word
Western
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world. For the individuals, who state that
fashion
is like art, it is a tool to separate themselves from others,
in other words
, to be noticed by the rest of their surroundings. To elaborate
this
further
,
this
approach may be a source of inferiority feeling ,especially among
the
Correct article usage
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children, whose parents can´t afford an expensive image for them.
Additionally
, spending hard-earned wages on new clothes, in a world where areas suffering from poverty, diseases and insufficient food supply is unprecedented arrogance.
On the other hand
, there are individuals who reckon that there is a defensible basis for
classification
Correct article usage
the classification
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Change preposition
of
show examples
fashion
as a crucial
part
of their daily routine. Linked to
this
, they argue that the
western
Capitalize word
Western
show examples
world is so developed that vogue might be considered a
part
of art.
For instance
, there are a plethora of
fashion
shows, which are a noteworthy opportunity for designers to boost their incomes and sell their prohibitively expensive products.
Moreover
, they state that these shows might enhance social interactions and amusement
while
entertaining and nurturing future contacts.
To conclude
,
while
the benefits of
fashion
might be reached just with particular members of society, its negative impact may harm innocent children from poorer families.
Therefore
, I believe it is a waste of money as there are other issues, which seek immediate attention.
Submitted by sevcik.karol on

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task response
Your essay addresses the prompt and provides a balanced discussion of both views. However, the conclusion could be stronger and reflect your personal opinion more clearly.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a logical structure overall, with clear introduction and conclusion. However, the development of ideas could be more organized and cohesive.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • self-expression
  • cultural heritage
  • global economy
  • fast fashion
  • environmental harm
  • consumerism
  • innovation
  • trends
  • superficiality
  • cultural identity
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