IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic The most important thing about a job is how much money you earn in that job. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#minutes #topic #job #money
There are people, who are of the
veiw
Correct your spelling
view
 that a crucial factor in getting a job is the pay,while others are of contrary suggestion.Despite
this
 controversy,I strongly agree with the opinion of those who see salary as an important key to job choice.
To begin
, admittedly the amount of money an employer will pay
hes
Correct your spelling
his
show examples
 employee, is the most essential in taking a
post offer
Add a hyphen
post-offer
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,
not withstanding
Correct your spelling
notwithstanding
show examples
 all other factors, as the income gives the employee, joy peace of mind and work satisfaction,
for
example
Add the comma(s)
,example
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mr
Change the capitalization
Mr
show examples
ajayi
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Ajayi
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, a friend of mine who is a registered nurse once worked in the hospital taking care of sick patients 8hours a day, he was
was
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
going about
hes
Correct your spelling
his
her
he's
 day not happy with the salary as it was not able able to
footh
Correct your spelling
foot
froth
forth
hes
Correct your spelling
her
he's
 bills, resulting to no workplace satisfaction, along
rhe
Correct your spelling
the
 line he got another offer from a company to work 12hours a day, as a site nurse with more patients but
hes
Correct your spelling
he's
her
his
 income was four times
hes
Correct your spelling
he's
his
 previous wages, he quickly
resigbed
Correct your spelling
resigned
 and took the new offer which looked more
stresful
Correct your spelling
stressful
 but
wuth
Correct your spelling
with
 a bigger financial reward as it was able to take care of
hes
Correct your spelling
her
his
hers
 personal and extended needs plus he had enough to save for family and friends.
thus
this
Correct your spelling
further
futher
Correct your spelling
further
 goes ahead to prove that the amount of income earned
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 a chore is a very important factor in the choice of task one involves
Correct your spelling
himself
show examples
him self
Correct your spelling
himself
show examples
 with.
However
,
agueably
Correct your spelling
arguably
 others are of the perspective that aside the wages
gotten
Add the auxiliary verb
got
have gotten
show examples
, that other factors like work environment,nature of duty are points to put into consideration in taking an employment position
,
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apply
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 because they feel if
this
Change the determiner
these
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 conditions aren't met the individual won't have peace of kind carry out
he's
Correct your spelling
his
show examples
 or her activities or duty, well
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 disagree with
this
veiw
Correct your spelling
view
firstly
 because all
this
 said points will never be able to pay
ones
Change to a genitive case
one's
show examples
 bills and care for the family needs, so as
this
 has been the fundamental and
and
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
basic reason for the search of employment,
thus
 if not met renders one to feel less fulfiled. To conclude, many individuals over time
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 felt aside money other aspects are most principal in taking duties,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 personally don't I'm of opposing belief cause the main reason for
Submitted by alaboemmanuel20 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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