IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people believe that economic progress is the only factor that can be used to measure a country’s success. Some others argue that there are some other factors. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion.

#people #progress #factor #measure #country’s #success #factors #viewpoints
people
 have different views about how to measure the success of a
country
 , economic progress
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
is
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
not the only method. In my opinion, I disagree with the idea that economic progress is the sole reason why
this
 is the case, there are still a number of other factors that are equally important. There are some reasons that
also
 can be as a measurement of national success.
Firstly
, the development of technology can improve the population’s quality of life which should be a key consideration when estimating a
country
.
For example
, the development of the Internet makes communication, shopping and learning more efficient,
people
 don’t have to waste time commuting or information transmission which makes life easier.
Secondly
, we should
also
 focus on the level of environmental protection. If we don’t think highly of protecting the environment,
people
 might create mass waste and pollution which will contribute to global warming;
Furthermore
, it may cause smog and acid rain which will cause health problems. We can’t consider a
country
's success if it has
such
 negative effects. At the same time, I believe the economic process is
also
Add an article
an
show examples
important
factor
Add the particle
to factor
show examples
 that affects the achievement of a
country
. If the government has enough money, it can invest in poverty construction, which can narrow the gap between rich and poor.
People
 would not suffer from hunger and cold and the population's happiness would increase.
People
 would work hard to create value and give back to society. The
country
 could
also
 give financial support to education that achieves students’ potential. It is a basic ensure of the national future. In conclusion, I would argue that the development of the economy is a vital factor but not the only factor when we judge a
country
, technology and the environment are
also
 important if we say
this
country
 is successful.
Submitted by ambermqy on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: