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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on society. Others deny that these have any significant influence on people's behavior. What is your opinion?

#people #violence #television #computer #games #effect #society #influence #behavior
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Violence can be presented in different forms in human life. The reason that some
people
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 have those actions might be because the movies or the
games
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 include violent plots, but other
people
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 disagree with
this
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 point and think there are not any relative factors from tv or computer that will make affect
people
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. As far as I am concerned, I agree with most of the threats are contributed by those scenes from the films or the
games
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.
People
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’s thinking was built after learning and growing. As humans grew up, plenty of knowledge and emotions were collected from parents, teachers or the internet world. Action movies usually with lots of unusual plots from real life, and some children would like to try the same activity to follow up with their models or admire celebrities. Teenagers are not as mature as adults owning abilities to distinguish whether
the
Correct article usage
apply
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things are correct or not because they will think about those stories appearing on the screen might
also
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 be acceptable in society. In fact, in order to have a better performance in the movie, the editor may design lots of unreal situations for that actor and actresses to play for. Not only from the movies and,
games
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 but were
also
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 having the same effect on
people
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. Various computer
games
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 allow
people
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 to have fun .
For example
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, Gun-shot or fighting
games
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 give humans a straight sample of violence, which setting with details of how to kill or murder other
people
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. Especially with
people
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 whose minds were not so clear and healthy that they will be easier to influence by those
games
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. It is necessary for parents and the government to have responsibilities to take care of teenagers when they start touching those devices. In conclusion, violence makes a huge effect on human society which is because
people
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who
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apply
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use electronic devices to obtain similar thinking and action. For me, I think it is
such
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 a series of problems that we cannot ignore.
Submitted by patrick880613 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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