IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The only way to reduce drug abuse is to legalise the substance and bring them under control. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and induce any relevant examples from your own knownledge or experience.

#drug #abuse #legalise #substance #control #knownledge
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There is no denying the fact that
drug
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abuse
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 is an extremely serious problem. It leads to a large number of
society
Replace the word
social
show examples
 and criminal issues. Some
people
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 believe that if the
substance
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 is taken under
control
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 and under laws, the facets of
drug
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abuse
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 will
also
Linking Words
 decrease.
However
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, I cannot totally agree with
this
Linking Words
 view. I am concerned that legalizing the
substance
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 would cause other
problems
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. Understandably, governments look for ways to reduce
drug
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abuse
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 and one way is to legalize and
control
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 the
substance
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. Following
this
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, the governments would know the origin of drugs and
also
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 uncover the prevalent use of drugs
in particular
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 areas.
Hence
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, they would
control
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problems
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 in the right direction. A good example of
this
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 is The legalization of cannabis in
Netherlands
Correct article usage
the Netherlands
show examples
, which has successfully reduced criminalization.
However
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, the legalization of the
substance
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 leads to many
problems
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such
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 as addiction. To be more precise, when the
substance
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 is not against the law, It is easy to possess. If
people
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 use it more than usual, they will become addicted and get
drug
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overdose
Wrong verb form
overdosed
show examples
.
For example
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, in the case of cannabis, since it is legal in Thailand, the latest news reports that many
people
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 died from
cannabis
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a cannabis
show examples
 overdose.
Moreover
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, if the
substance
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 is brought from a general shop, someone will constantly purchase it to persuade other
people
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. Indeed,
people
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 can buy the
drug
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 from the grocery store
although
Linking Words
 there is a limited amount of
Use synonyms
drug
Fix the agreement mistake
drugs
show examples
 or age of
Add an article
the customer
show examples
customer
Fix the agreement mistake
customers
show examples
, it is not impossible to
control
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 the whole amount of drugs
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
they possess. And they will use these to induce other
people
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 to be criminals. In conclusion, there are many ways to reduce
substance
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abuse
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. One of these is to take it to legal and
control
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 it. It could be argued that
legalization
Correct article usage
the legalization
show examples
 of substances not only causes health
problems
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, it
also
Linking Words
 causes more criminals.
Therefore
Linking Words
 we should find other ways to solve
this
Linking Words
 problem.
Submitted by tipdaa on

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