IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Modern technology is now very common in most workplaces. How do you think this has changed the way we work? Do you think there are disadvantages to relying too much on technology?

#technology #workplaces #work
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Today's leading age
technology
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 has brought significant benefits. It has
also
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, become ubiquitous in workplaces. It has completely changed the way people work. I believe that
although
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 it has some prominent drawbacks, the benefits greatly outweigh the disadvantages. Cutting-edge technologies play a predominant role in workplaces.
For example
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, these days most companies have overseas customers. with state-of-the-art
technology
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, administrations can have meetings on Skype or Zome to interact and communicate with customers. They can send the contracts and change some regulations, leading to saving time and money. Another worthwhile aspect of
technology
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 in the
workplace
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 is that the workforce can work from home without physical attendance at the
workplace
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, which has brought companies prosperity,
such
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 as reducing energy consumption at the
workplace
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.
On the other hand
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, excessive reliance on
technology
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 has undoubtedly disadvantages that should not be underestimated.
For instance
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, with the advent of artificial intelligence, some employees who are responsible for writing articles, use Chat-GPT.Which has brought some difficulties in recognizing the sources and reliability of information.
Furthermore
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, some corporations have faced a lack of creativity in the
workplace
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,
due to
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,dependency on
technology
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. As an example, digital gadgets cannot use critical thinking to address problems as humans do. In conclusion, in the computer era, we are surrounded by a massive amount of data, and
technology
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 has brought a lot of opportunities to deal with information, especially in the
workplace
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. In my opinion,
although
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technology
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 has some problematic issues, it has prominent facilities that should not be overlooked.
Submitted by sarasadeghi74 on

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task achievement
The introduction effectively introduces the topic and your position, but it would benefit from a clearer thesis statement that outlines the main points to be discussed.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that directly relates to the main point being discussed, which will help improve logical structure.
coherence and cohesion
While your ideas are clear, some sentences could be more concise to improve readability and coherence.
coherence and cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and restates your position clearly.
task achievement
The examples provided, such as meetings on Skype and the use of Chat-GPT, are relevant and specific, supporting your points effectively.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • efficiency
  • productivity
  • software applications
  • high-speed internet
  • communication
  • collaboration
  • geographical boundaries
  • remote work
  • flexibility
  • work-life balance
  • skill gaps
  • job displacement
  • automation
  • artificial intelligence
  • dependency
  • security risks
  • data breaches
  • cyber attacks
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