IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowadays, many people choose to be self-employed rather than to work for a company or organization. Why might this be the case? What could be the advantage of being self-employed?

#people #work #company #organization #be #case #advantage
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These days, in modern society a vast majority of
people
Use synonyms
 tend to run their own
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
.
In other words
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 viewpoint is increasing considerably rather than there used to be. But on the other side, it’s obvious that
as
Change preposition
apply
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an employee they may face some difficulties. So in
this
Linking Words
 essay, it will be discussed what the main reasons are and
also
Linking Words
 the kind of draw bags
could
Correct pronoun usage
that could
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 be significant for self-employed
people
Use synonyms
. To
Start
Fix capitalization
start
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 with the main
interests
Fix the agreement mistake
interest
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 of working on their own, having decent working conditions can take the
first
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 stage. Among a variety of strict laws in the workplace, most employers prefer having their authority over time management. They believe that,
although
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 working for yourself is a challenging issue, everyone is able to start and finish their work hours whenever they want. In that case, it can provide a condition to get a sufficient result. The
second
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 reason which is the most motivating
,
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apply
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 is a high income.
This
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 is a common myth that everyone can have a great deal of chance to get a lot of money if they focus on their occupation and trade. Because they have to manage different job policies and act in a smart way to overcome the
competition
Replace the word
competitive
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 market.
Nevertheless
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, as
other
Change preposition
with other
show examples
 goals in life, running a new business has its own risks. On the positive side, there are some rewarding advantages. Opening a business will definitely help willing
people
Use synonyms
 to be well-informed about the trade and market. It is revealed that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
more
Correct article usage
the more
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 knowledgeable,
more
Correct article usage
the more
show examples
 successful you are in
this
Linking Words
 specific field.
In addition
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, improved and extended communication with others would be taken into account as another highlight of positive points and clear consequences of being an entrepreneur.
Finally
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, surveys and
latest
Correct article usage
the latest
show examples
 findings show that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 there is a strong preference for
people
Use synonyms
 to work for themselves rather than to have a job in an organization.
Although
Linking Words
 it is based on positive sides, most of them try to play it
safely
Replace the word
safe
show examples
.
Submitted by TUTOO on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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