IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some people claim that museums and art galleries are not needed today, because everyone can see historical objects or art works by computer. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #museums #art #galleries #objects #works #computer
Some
people
 believe that technology allows individuals a chance to see historical objects and
works
 of
art
 on a computer screen.
As a result
, museums and
art
 galleries are no longer required. I oppose that point of view, and I am going to say why in
this
 essay.
People
 appreciate that historical objects or
Correct your spelling
artworks
show examples
art
Correct your spelling
artworks
show examples
works
 can be observed on a computer screen for a variety of reasons, the most significant of which being that constructing and maintaining museums or galleries is incredibly expensive.
Furthermore
, historical objects and
works
 of
art
 must be kept in good condition. Because of the revenue earned from ticket sales, it is impossible to maintain or promote events, which
helps
Correct subject-verb agreement
help
show examples
 attract visitors. It costs the government millions of dollars to build and maintain, and that money could be used for other things like education or health.
However
, I believe that history is the foundation of development, and
therefore
,
people
 must never forget their roots. Thanks to the basic tools or methods of the ancients, humans can develop them and make life easier. Each nation has achievements that they want to keep for the
next
 generation, and
this
 is a source of national pride. Money can be earned in many ways, but lost history cannot be regained.
Moreover
,
people
 may obtain a true sense of history or
art
 when they have the chance to witness it with their own eyes. Consider how individuals communicate with their family and friends via video call. They can see each other but are unable to have the sensation of meeting each other in person. In conclusion,
although
 everyone may see historical relics or
Correct your spelling
artworks
show examples
art
Correct your spelling
artworks
show examples
works
 on a computer screen, which has various advantages, I still believe museums and galleries should be preserved to allow
people
 to remember where they come from.
Submitted by yenbao89 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • virtual
  • digital
  • online
  • accessibility
  • inclusivity
  • cultural heritage
  • physical experience
  • immersion
  • local tourism
  • economy
What to do next:
Look at other essays: