A government has a responsibility to its citizens to ensure their safety. Therefore, some people think that the government should increase spending on defense but spend less on social benefits. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is often argued that
governments
Use synonyms
should allocate more resources and
fundings
Fix the agreement mistake
funding
show examples
to
Use synonyms
defense
Change the spelling
defence
show examples
but less
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
social benefits to ensure citizens’ safety. I strongly disagree
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
this
Linking Words
statement as
wars
Use synonyms
rarely happen in today’s society and it may only have little improvement
Correct your spelling
regarding
show examples
regrading
Correct your spelling
regarding
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Use synonyms
defense
Change the spelling
defence
show examples
. In today’s society, it is uncommon that
wars
Use synonyms
will happen between countries.
However
Linking Words
, a majority of the people in some developing nations died owing to starvation and polluted water supply rather than
wars
Use synonyms
. In
this
Linking Words
way,
governments
Use synonyms
should not merely emphasize
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
defense
Change the spelling
defence
show examples
, but
also
Linking Words
pay more attention to social welfare that can save more people’s lives. Take the example of Indonesia, as many people are unlikely to access clean water supply and food,
they
Correct word choice
and they
show examples
may suffer from diseases or even death. Another reason is that it may have little improvement on
Use synonyms
defense
Change the spelling
defence
show examples
. As weapons and planes are extremely expensive, some developing countries can only buy one or two latest weapons which cannot bring great improvement to the
Use synonyms
defense
Change the spelling
defence
show examples
.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, if
governments
Use synonyms
allocate the same resources
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
public health and education,
this
Linking Words
can greatly boost the economy as people may find promising jobs with decent salaries in the foreseeable future. Take the example of Africa. The authorities have spent millions of US dollars on weapons produced by the US with only little effect on
Use synonyms
Add an article
the defense
show examples
defense
Change the spelling
defence
show examples
. In conclusion, as
wars
Use synonyms
rarely happen in today’s society and it may only have little effect on the
Use synonyms
defense
Change the spelling
defence
show examples
, I strongly disagree that
governments
Use synonyms
should allocate more resources and
fundings
Fix the agreement mistake
funding
show examples
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
Use synonyms
defense
Change the spelling
defence
show examples
instead
Linking Words
of social welfare.
Submitted by gac7077 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • national security
  • sovereignty
  • foreign entities
  • military sector
  • economic growth
  • inequality
  • vulnerable populations
  • elderly
  • disabled
  • unemployed
  • social stability
  • public health
  • balanced approach
  • appropriate funding
  • nation’s needs
  • priorities
What to do next:
Look at other essays: