A government has a responsibility to its citizens to ensure their safety. Therefore, some people think that the government should increase spending on defense but spend less on social benefits. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#government #responsibility #citizens #safety #people #defense

It is often argued that

governments

should allocate more resources and

fundings

Fix the agreement mistake

funding

show examples

defense

Change the spelling

defence

show examples

but less

Change preposition

show examples

social benefits to ensure citizens’ safety. I strongly disagree

Change preposition

with

show examples

this

statement as

wars

rarely happen in today’s society and it may only have little improvement

Correct your spelling

regarding

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regrading

Correct your spelling

regarding

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

defense

Change the spelling

defence

show examples

. In today’s society, it is uncommon that

wars

will happen between countries.

However

, a majority of the people in some developing nations died owing to starvation and polluted water supply rather than

wars

. In

this

way,

governments

should not merely emphasize

Change preposition

apply

show examples

defense

Change the spelling

defence

show examples

, but

also

pay more attention to social welfare that can save more people’s lives. Take the example of Indonesia, as many people are unlikely to access clean water supply and food,

they

Correct word choice

and they

show examples

may suffer from diseases or even death. Another reason is that it may have little improvement on

defense

Change the spelling

defence

show examples

. As weapons and planes are extremely expensive, some developing countries can only buy one or two latest weapons which cannot bring great improvement to the

defense

Change the spelling

defence

show examples

On the contrary

, if

governments

allocate the same resources

Change preposition

show examples

public health and education,

this

can greatly boost the economy as people may find promising jobs with decent salaries in the foreseeable future. Take the example of Africa. The authorities have spent millions of US dollars on weapons produced by the US with only little effect on

Add an article

the defense

show examples

defense

Change the spelling

defence

show examples

. In conclusion, as

wars

rarely happen in today’s society and it may only have little effect on the

defense

Change the spelling

defence

show examples

, I strongly disagree that

governments

should allocate more resources and

fundings

Fix the agreement mistake

funding

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

defense

Change the spelling

defence

show examples

instead

of social welfare.

Submitted by gac7077 on Fri Jul 15 2022

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

260 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

national security
sovereignty
foreign entities
military sector
economic growth
inequality
vulnerable populations
elderly
disabled
unemployed
social stability
public health
balanced approach
appropriate funding
nation’s needs
priorities

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A government has a responsibility to its citizens to ensure their safety. Therefore, some people think that the government should increase spending on defense but spend less on social benefits. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some suggest than young people should take a job for a few years between school and university. Discuss what the itadvantages and disadvantages might be for people who do this.

Some people think that robots are important for humankind's future development. Others think that robots have negative effects on society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Most people in the world have to work to earn a living. However, many people work only for the financial gain that it involves, and not for any other rewards that a job can offer. What do you think the main consideration when deciding what job to take should be?

Today, more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara Desert or the Antartic. What are benefits or disadvantages for tourists visiting such places?

Learning English at school is often seen as more important than learning local language. If these are not taught many are at risk of dying out. In your opinion, is it important for everyone to learn English? Should we try to ensure the survival of local languages and, if so, how?