IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Write about the following topic. There are many people who go to live in different countries. To what extent should people be allowed to move freely between countries and live where they choose? What are the benefits and drawbacks of this? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

#topic #people #countries #move #minutes
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The graph represents the proportion of Australian
men
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
 who
practiced
Change the spelling
practised
show examples
 physical exercise on daily basis at a wide range of ages in 2010. 2/At
first
Linking Words
 glance, the most percentage in the chart is
men
Use synonyms
 aged 15-24 with 52.8%, followed by a significant fall in the percentage of
men
Use synonyms
 doing exercises from 52.8% to 39.5% when
men
Use synonyms
 became 35-44
age
Use synonyms
 group.
However
Linking Words
,
men
Use synonyms
 aged 45 and over rose slightly with 43.1%, 45.1%, and 46,7%. =>
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
women
Use synonyms
 who did exercise more when they get older. In the youngest
age
Use synonyms
 group, it only has 47.7% in the chart while in the middle ages, it was at its peak with 53.3%.
Besides
Linking Words
 that, it falls tediously at 47.1% in the oldest
age
Use synonyms
 group.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the proportion of
men
Use synonyms
 doing exercise had the opposite trend with
women
Use synonyms
. In general, it is recognizable that
women
Use synonyms
 exercised more than
men
Use synonyms
. It
also
Linking Words
 shows that
men
Use synonyms
’s proportion of doing physical activities decreased in average
age
Use synonyms
 groups while
women
Use synonyms
's is the opposite.
This
Linking Words
 is because
women
Use synonyms
 maybe focus on their bodies more than
men
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by jakelong16091994 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: