IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others however, believe there are better alternative ways of reducing crimes” Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #crime #prison #sentences #alternative #crimes”
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In current society,most
of
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apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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people
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 are involved to do wrong things to live
a better lives
Correct the article-noun agreement
a better life
better lives
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.So the majority
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people
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of people
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 believe that it is needed to increase the duration of prison
sentence
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sentences
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Correct your spelling
in order
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inorder
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in order
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 to decrease the
crime
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rate
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 while others claim that there are options to reduce the
crime
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rate
Use synonyms
. In my opinion,
people
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 should have
chance
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a chance
show examples
 to understand their crimes and make them correct on their own.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
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People
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People's
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 behaviour and attitude can change with positive influence. So if there is a positive influence , they can easily persuade to do good things.
For instance
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, a
person
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 who
tend
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tends
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 to educate
create
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and create
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bomb
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a bomb
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 for dealers
,
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apply
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 can be persuaded
to
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apply
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not to do harmful things
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in order
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inorder
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in order
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 to
surrive
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survive
.
Linking Words
Also
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,Also
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 those
people
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 have
chance
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a chance
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 to re-educate and medicate during
the
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apply
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jail. If
we
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arewe
werewe
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 able to change their mind doing
arrange
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arranging
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 these programs, they would
able
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be able
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 to live peacefully with
the
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apply
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society when they
released
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are released
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 from
the
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apply
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jail.
Correct your spelling
On the other
Ontheother
Correct your spelling
On the other
 hand, some folks
has
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have
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 been caught because of their negligence.
For instance
Linking Words
, a
person
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 who couldn't follow the road traffic signs can get
prison
Correct article usage
a prison
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 sentence due to
the
Correct article usage
a
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 road accident. Sometimes, those
people
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 get
longer
Add an article
a longer
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 duration of
a prison sentences
Correct the article-noun agreement
a prison sentence
prison sentences
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 because of their awareness. In conclusion,
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Crime
Add an article
the Crime
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rate
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 has increased considerably in
this
Linking Words
 era. Even though there should be longer imprisonment we couldn't reduce the
crime
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rate
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.
Correct your spelling
In order
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Inorder
Correct your spelling
In order
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 to do that we need to cultivate
positive
Correct article usage
a positive
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 influence on a
person
Use synonyms
's behaviour and attitude. In my opinion,
people
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 should have
opportunity
Correct article usage
the opportunity
show examples
 to re-educate and be a better
Use synonyms
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
.
Submitted by priyankamiriyagalla on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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