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Band 5

Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others however, believe there are better alternative ways of reducing crimes” Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #crime #prison #sentences #alternative #crimes”
In current society,most
of
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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people
 are involved to do wrong things to live
a better lives
Correct the article-noun agreement
a better life
better lives
show examples
.So the majority
people
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of people
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 believe that it is needed to increase the duration of prison
sentence
Fix the agreement mistake
sentences
show examples
Correct your spelling
in order
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inorder
Correct your spelling
in order
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 to decrease the
crime
rate
 while others claim that there are options to reduce the
crime
rate
. In my opinion,
people
 should have
chance
Correct article usage
a chance
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 to understand their crimes and make them correct on their own.
To begin
 with,
People
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People's
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 behaviour and attitude can change with positive influence. So if there is a positive influence , they can easily persuade to do good things.
For instance
, a
person
 who
tend
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tends
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 to educate
create
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and create
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bomb
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a bomb
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 for dealers
,
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apply
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 can be persuaded
to
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apply
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not to do harmful things
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in order
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inorder
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in order
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 to
surrive
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survive
.
Also
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,Also
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 those
people
 have
chance
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a chance
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 to re-educate and medicate during
the
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apply
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jail. If
we
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arewe
werewe
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 able to change their mind doing
arrange
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arranging
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 these programs, they would
able
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be able
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 to live peacefully with
the
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apply
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society when they
released
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are released
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 from
the
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apply
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jail.
Correct your spelling
On the other
Ontheother
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On the other
 hand, some folks
has
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have
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 been caught because of their negligence.
For instance
, a
person
 who couldn't follow the road traffic signs can get
prison
Correct article usage
a prison
show examples
 sentence due to
the
Correct article usage
a
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 road accident. Sometimes, those
people
 get
longer
Add an article
a longer
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 duration of
a prison sentences
Correct the article-noun agreement
a prison sentence
prison sentences
show examples
 because of their awareness. In conclusion,
Crime
Add an article
the Crime
show examples
rate
 has increased considerably in
this
 era. Even though there should be longer imprisonment we couldn't reduce the
crime
rate
.
Correct your spelling
In order
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Inorder
Correct your spelling
In order
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 to do that we need to cultivate
positive
Correct article usage
a positive
show examples
 influence on a
person
's behaviour and attitude. In my opinion,
people
 should have
opportunity
Correct article usage
the opportunity
show examples
 to re-educate and be a better
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
.
Submitted by priyankamiriyagalla on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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