IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The length of the working week does not reflect modern lifestyle needs, it should be substantially reduced to give people more leisure time with their families, how far do you agree with this statement,

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There is a belief that working hours in a
week
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 does not reflect our needs in modern life,
therefore
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 it should be limited
,
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apply
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 so that we can spend
time
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 with our families. I strongly agree with
this
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 point of view, because
people
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 can not spend
time
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 and enjoy meals with their families due to long
work
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 hours. On the one hand,
people
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 have to
work
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 for 5 or 6
days
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in
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apply
show examples
a
week
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. Because of the
Correct your spelling
length
lenght
Correct your spelling
length
 of
working
Correct article usage
the working
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week
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 parents can not play games with their children or help
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homework
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with homeworks
show examples
homeworks
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homework
. Unfortunately, these
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situations
situtations
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situations
 have bad effects
to
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on
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 the relationship between mother, father and children.
On the other hand
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,
people
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 can not spend
time
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for
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apply
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cooking.
In addition
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, they can not
having
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have
be having
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 dinner or breakfast together with their
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child's
child
childs
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children
show examples
.
However
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, it is important to communicate with early age children to have
strong
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a strong
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 bond.
For instance
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, in a country,
government
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the government
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 said that
people
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also
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 have to spend
time
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for
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on
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 their hobbies and families, due to
government
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the government
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 decided that
work
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days
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 in a
week
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 should be for 4
days
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. In my opinion, if
people
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 spend much more
time
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 with their family they can
also
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 gain motivation to
work
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.
Otherwise
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,
people
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 will feel depressed.
Therefore
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, employers have to limit working hours or amount of
Use synonyms
Correct your spelling
weekdays
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week
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weekdays
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days
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. Afterwards, it will
seen
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be seen
see
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 that it has much more return to the company. In conclusion,
Correct article usage
the successes
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successes
Fix the agreement mistake
success
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 of workers do not come from working long. For being successful workers,
people
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 should have enormous
time
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to
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apply
show examples
with their
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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