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The length of the working week does not reflect modern lifestyle needs, it should be substantially reduced to give people more leisure time with their families, how far do you agree with this statement,

#length #week #lifestyle #people #leisure #time #families
There is a belief that working hours in a
week
 does not reflect our needs in modern life,
therefore
 it should be limited
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 so that we can spend
time
 with our families. I strongly agree with
this
 point of view, because
people
 can not spend
time
 and enjoy meals with their families due to long
work
 hours. On the one hand,
people
 have to
work
 for 5 or 6
days
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a
week
. Because of the
Correct your spelling
length
lenght
Correct your spelling
length
 of
working
Correct article usage
the working
show examples
week
 parents can not play games with their children or help
Correct your spelling
homework
Change preposition
with homeworks
show examples
homeworks
Correct your spelling
homework
. Unfortunately, these
Correct your spelling
situations
situtations
Correct your spelling
situations
 have bad effects
to
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on
show examples
 the relationship between mother, father and children.
On the other hand
,
people
 can not spend
time
for
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apply
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cooking.
In addition
, they can not
having
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have
be having
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 dinner or breakfast together with their
Correct your spelling
child's
child
childs
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
.
However
, it is important to communicate with early age children to have
strong
Add an article
a strong
show examples
 bond.
For instance
, in a country,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 said that
people
also
 have to spend
time
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their hobbies and families, due to
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 decided that
work
days
 in a
week
 should be for 4
days
. In my opinion, if
people
 spend much more
time
 with their family they can
also
 gain motivation to
work
.
Otherwise
,
people
 will feel depressed.
Therefore
, employers have to limit working hours or amount of
Correct your spelling
weekdays
show examples
week
Correct your spelling
weekdays
show examples
days
. Afterwards, it will
seen
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be seen
see
show examples
 that it has much more return to the company. In conclusion,
Correct article usage
the successes
show examples
successes
Fix the agreement mistake
success
show examples
 of workers do not come from working long. For being successful workers,
people
 should have enormous
time
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
with their
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
.
Submitted by ayseggultekin on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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