IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Multination companies are becoming increasingly common in developing countries. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

#multination #companies #countries
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The pie charts provide information on how families in South Korea and Singapore spend their income on different categories percentagewise in the years 2000 and 2020. Overall, Singaporeans spent most of their income on housing and spent the least amount of money on health care. While housing
also
Linking Words
 accounted for the majority of money spent by South Korean families in the year 2020; it accounted for much less in the year 2000. In terms of family spending in South Korea in 2000, health care made up the smallest part at only 6%;
however
Linking Words
, it rose significantly to 18% in 2020. The
expenditure
Use synonyms
 on transport and housing
also
Linking Words
 grew from 20% and 21% in 2000 to 25% and 30%, respectively.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the spending on food decreased from 24% in 2000 to 20% in 2020. Other categories, which made up 29% of the
expenditure
Use synonyms
 in 2000, became the smallest category in 2020 at only 7%. There is not much difference in
spending
Add an article
the spending
show examples
 pattern of Singaporean
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
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 in the year 2020 compared to 2000. Housing made up the largest part of
expenditure
Use synonyms
 for both years at 34% in 2000 and 40% in 2020. Singaporeans spent 3% of their income in 2000 on health care and even though
this
Linking Words
 number doubled in 2020, it still accounted for the smallest part of their spending. The money spent on transportation
also
Linking Words
 doubled from 10% to 20% in 20 years. The
expenditure
Use synonyms
 on food and other categories went from 27% and 26% in 2000 to 16% and 18% in 2020.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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