Today, the life expectancy of people is much higher than before. Some people think that older people should continue to involved in the workforce. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Use synonyms
Peoples
Change noun form
People's
demand
are progressively increasing Fix the agreement mistake
demands
day-by-day
. Some individuals say that Correct your spelling
day by day
Use synonyms
peoples
who are older should Fix the agreement mistake
people
work
till Use synonyms
later
Correct article usage
a later
age
. I believe that Use synonyms
though
working in older Correct your spelling
through
age
should be hard for them, Use synonyms
but
it is beneficial in some ways.
Correct word choice
apply
Firstly
, older Linking Words
people
should Use synonyms
works
to be Change the verb form
work
self dependent
. Add a hyphen
self-dependent
Use synonyms
Peoples
who are working at elder Fix the agreement mistake
People
age
, Use synonyms
they
can fulfil their all Correct pronoun usage
apply
demand
which Fix the agreement mistake
demands
reduce
to become dependent Change the verb form
reduces
to
Change preposition
on
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
people
. Use synonyms
For example
, if an older person works, he/she doesn’t depend Linking Words
to
other for pocket money. He/she can easily bear his/her daily needs like treatment, hobby and so on. So, working till later Change preposition
on
age
helps them to meet their own expenses.
Use synonyms
Moreover
, Linking Words
older
Add an article
an older
the older
citizen
can help their Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
countries
Change noun form
country's
countries'
economy
by working. They don’t become Fix the agreement mistake
economies
burden
to their country to Add an article
a burden
earning
money. When a Wrong verb form
earn
countries
older community works, their per capita income will be high to become their economy strong. Change noun form
country's
For instance
, we see many Linking Words
countries
Change noun form
countries'
country's
government
provide enlarged allowance to older Fix the agreement mistake
governments
Use synonyms
peoples
who Fix the agreement mistake
people
are not
Change the verb form
are not working
work
. If Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
are
Change the verb form
are working
work
, government don’t Use synonyms
needs
to give them it by which administration can do other social improvements. So, the more enlarged Change the verb form
need
peoples
Use synonyms
work
in a country, the stronger their economy will be.
Use synonyms
On the other hand
, working will be difficult for Linking Words
Use synonyms
peoples
who are enlarged. Fix the agreement mistake
people
Peoples
Use synonyms
Replace the word
lose
loose
their physical ability regarding their Correct your spelling
lose
age
. Use synonyms
This
may lead to falling many diseases resulting in Linking Words
they
Correct pronoun usage
them
become
Wrong verb form
becoming
Correct your spelling
unable
enable
to Correct your spelling
unable
work
. Indeed, there have been some Use synonyms
recorded
Replace the word
records
showed
that working at older Wrong verb form
showing
aged
would be harmful Replace the word
ages
for
their health possible leading to create big health Change the preposition
to
varrier
. At Correct your spelling
carrier
older
Add an article
an older
age
, they turn to like a child. So Use synonyms
this
time they Linking Words
needs
to take Change the verb form
need
rest
.
In conclusion, the expense Correct article usage
a rest
of
Change preposition
to
Use synonyms
people
lives Change noun form
people's
are
far bigger than that Change the verb form
is
of
earlier. I think, older Change preposition
apply
peoples
Use synonyms
work
are efficient for them but they can find some difficulties to Use synonyms
work
.Use synonyms
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite