Today, the life expectancy of people is much higher than before. Some people think that older people should continue to involved in the workforce. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Peoples
Change noun form
People's
demand
are progressively increasing Fix the agreement mistake
demands
day-by-day
. Some individuals say that Correct your spelling
day by day
peoples
who are older should Fix the agreement mistake
people
work
till later
Correct article usage
a later
age
. I believe that though
working in older Correct your spelling
through
age
should be hard for them, but
it is beneficial in some ways.
Correct word choice
apply
Firstly
, older people
should works
to be Change the verb form
work
self dependent
. Add a hyphen
self-dependent
Peoples
who are working at elder Fix the agreement mistake
People
age
, they
can fulfil their all Correct pronoun usage
apply
demand
which Fix the agreement mistake
demands
reduce
to become dependent Change the verb form
reduces
to
Change preposition
on
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
people
. For example
, if an older person works, he/she doesn’t depend to
other for pocket money. He/she can easily bear his/her daily needs like treatment, hobby and so on. So, working till later Change preposition
on
age
helps them to meet their own expenses.
Moreover
, older
Add an article
an older
the older
citizen
can help their Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
countries
Change noun form
country's
countries'
economy
by working. They don’t become Fix the agreement mistake
economies
burden
to their country to Add an article
a burden
earning
money. When a Wrong verb form
earn
countries
older community works, their per capita income will be high to become their economy strong. Change noun form
country's
For instance
, we see many countries
Change noun form
countries'
country's
government
provide enlarged allowance to older Fix the agreement mistake
governments
peoples
who Fix the agreement mistake
people
are not
Change the verb form
are not working
work
. If people
are
Change the verb form
are working
work
, government don’t needs
to give them it by which administration can do other social improvements. So, the more enlarged Change the verb form
need
peoples
work
in a country, the stronger their economy will be.
On the other hand
, working will be difficult for peoples
who are enlarged. Fix the agreement mistake
people
Peoples
Replace the word
lose
loose
their physical ability regarding their Correct your spelling
lose
age
. This
may lead to falling many diseases resulting in they
Correct pronoun usage
them
become
Wrong verb form
becoming
Correct your spelling
unable
enable
to Correct your spelling
unable
work
. Indeed, there have been some recorded
Replace the word
records
showed
that working at older Wrong verb form
showing
aged
would be harmful Replace the word
ages
for
their health possible leading to create big health Change the preposition
to
varrier
. At Correct your spelling
carrier
older
Add an article
an older
age
, they turn to like a child. So this
time they needs
to take Change the verb form
need
rest
.
In conclusion, the expense Correct article usage
a rest
of
Change preposition
to
people
lives Change noun form
people's
are
far bigger than that Change the verb form
is
of
earlier. I think, older Change preposition
apply
peoples
work
are efficient for them but they can find some difficulties to work
.Submitted by ahmedshahriar448 on
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite