Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #university #college #route #career #job #school

Many

people

generally believe that individuals should seek

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

job

immediately after graduation.

While

there are some merits to support that idea, I would argue that pursuing

further

education is the best way to become successful. On the one hand, the option to get a

job

has

some

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

certain benefits.

To begin

with,

people

are more likely to be financially independent since they could earn the money soon and help their family cover some expenses to reduce the family's financial burden. On top of that, they

also

have chances to gain more real-world experience sooner than other their peers and they would bring it into practice with the aim of getting a competitive salary in the future.

Moreover

, with dense experiences and

a great deal of

Change the quantifier

a lot of

many

plenty of

show examples

practical skills, they have a tendency to get married soon and take care of their family very well.

On the other hand

, there are numerous reasons why I believe continuing to study tertiary education would be the

most

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

right choice. The first rationale is that there are some work positions that require relevant qualifications. These could range from dentists and doctors to lecturers that

people

lending a

job

straight away could

not

Rewrite the sentence

apply

show examples

couldn't

Remove a modal verb

apply

show examples

do it. By way of illustration, my uncle took his whole life to learn to become a distinguished doctor, 7 years to get a

bachelor

Change noun form

bachelor's

show examples

degree, and a host of following years to get

Master

Change noun form

Master's

show examples

and PhD qualifications in America.

Therefore

, there is no way for ordinary

people

who do not don't study university

tocan

Correct your spelling

become a doctor or some jobs requiring a degree.

Besides

that, those who study other

majorsmajor

Correct your spelling

majors major

major major

could learn

a great deal of

Change the quantifier

a lot of

many

plenty of

show examples

academic subjects and necessary soft skills

as well as

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

are able to have some great relationships and memorable times at the university which contribute to their mental development and essential skills in order to get a lucrative

job

after graduation. In conclusion,

while

some maintain that individuals should find a

job

right after graduation, I strongly believe that it is better to pursue higher education to succeed.

Submitted by luudang97 on Sat Jul 16 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

345 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Academic qualifications
Specialized skills
In-depth knowledge
Personal growth
Social development
Practical experience
Financial independence
Career progression
Professional networking
Education
Work experience
Successful career
Personal interests
Career goals
Decision-making process

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Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people believe that the government should fund art and culture, while others think that is should only fund sciences. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Many supermarket are selling more and more products that are imported from other countries instead of selling food that is locally sourced. what are the reason for this? is this a positive or negative development?

More and more people today expect to get what they want instantly (goods, services, news), without having wait. Why is this? Do you think expectation is a positive or negative development?