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Band 5.5

Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #university #college #route #career #job #school
People hold conflicting views
whether
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on whether
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 continue to learn after high school or go to work instantly. While some argue that
go
Wrong verb form
going
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straightforward
Replace the word
straight
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 for a
job
 may bring about
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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certain benefits, I believe that keeping on studying is a better solution. There are various reasons why achieving an early
job
 is beneficial,
firstly
, it helps people get rid of dependence,
having
Correct word choice
and having
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 a higher salary allows them to purchase their personal things like clothes, and taxes. Many adults in the countryside of VietNam have decided to quit their school in order to find a
job
 in a developed city with
a
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the
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 hope to reduce the economic pressure on their
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
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.
Secondly
,
experience
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the experience
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 can be achieved in the early stage of their life, having
Correct your spelling
a lot
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of information and practical lesson may help them to obtain a better career. In a quick-modernized century, starting a soon work bring people more opportunities to proceed
their
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with their
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 dream, buy
house
Add an article
a house
show examples
, and gain a better life condition. In spite of these arguments, I believe that keep pursuing
on
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apply
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learning at university is significant. Certificates have played a vital role for over a decade, more and more companies required a university degree in order to achieve the
job
.
For instance
, Viettel network company in VietNam acquire their employee's portfolio to have the high-school certificate for at least, they
also
 so said that the higher the employee's degree, the higher income they can get.
Additionally
, knowledge can
also
 be received throughout the UNI years, earning greater information from school obviously help students how to deal with their theoretical problems as well as
the
Correct article usage
apply
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practical one, In conclusion, in spite of the fact that
go
Wrong verb form
going
show examples
 for
early
Add an article
an early
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 career may have some positive impacts, I firmly agree that
continue
Wrong verb form
continuing
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 to study
in
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at
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 University is
best
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the best
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 key to success.
Submitted by luudang97 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Academic qualifications
  • Specialized skills
  • In-depth knowledge
  • Personal growth
  • Social development
  • Practical experience
  • Financial independence
  • Career progression
  • Professional networking
  • Education
  • Work experience
  • Successful career
  • Personal interests
  • Career goals
  • Decision-making process
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