Celebrities are famous for their weath and glamorous lifestyles rather than their achievements. This sets a bad example for young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree with that idea?

#celebrities #weath #lifestyles #achievements #sets #people #idea

Nowadays, most

celebrities

show off their glamorous lifestyle and wealth through social media. So, they get peoples' interest as well as more famous rather than achievements. I agree that these

celebrities

set a bad example for children. Alternately, some

celebrities

exist as everyone's role

model

Fix the agreement mistake

models

show examples

by proving their great effort to the world. Recently, many people follow the wrong way to be popular. They do not even give time, energy, and intense spirit to reach goals. They have put a mindset that they can make money easily by doing silly things. Namely, Nay San became popular because of meaningless stories with route jokes.

Consequently

, young people who desire to be famous are imitating him and going to think that they

also

can famous with

this

ways. In comparison, some

celebrities

own everyone's inspiration due to their real success in their chosen field. Great effort, work hard, dedication to their passion, and practice, are the reasons why they are at the top. One clear example is Ronaldo. Even though he had no opportunity to become real his dream, he always work hard with a strong spirit.

As a result

, he is the most influential person all over the world. Children should follow their ways of approaching to get achievements and should build up good habits that can develop their talents

Submitted by tr.zarwaihnin on Sat Jul 16 2022

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

219 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Celebrities are famous for their weath and glamorous lifestyles rather than their achievements. This sets a bad example for young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree with that idea?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some people believe that young people who commit serious crimes should be punished in the same way as adults . Do you agree or disagree?

Some believe that people today have no interest in maintaining the traditional culture of their country or region. Others believe that it is still important to people that we preserve a traditional way of life. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that plastic shopping bags should be banned because they contribute to land and sea pollution. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Your local bookshop has invited members of the public to recommend a guest speaker for an upcoming event that will include a series of talks from well-known people.