In many countries, children are becoming overweight and unhealthy. Some people think that the government has the responsibility to solve this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #children #people #government #responsibility

Obesity is prevailing among adolescents. Many argue that the onus should be on the

government

to mitigate

this

issue. From my viewpoint,

although

it will be difficult for the authorities to manage the eating patterns of children, they can still take steps to tackle

this

issue. In

this

essay, I will support my argument in the upcoming paragraphs. To commence with, the

government

can spread awareness to a wide-range and target school students.

Moreover

, the officials can introduce a subject pertaining to

food

nutrition and add it to the curriculum. They can

also

train the teachers to pass down the knowledge of eating a well-balanced diet. Apart from

this

, the

government

can organise a poster-making competition or a quiz which is related to a healthy lifestyle theme.

Additionally

, authorities can grant funds to provide healthy meals for the children.

Thus

this

will encourage them to consume nutritious

food

over junk

food

Furthermore

, the

government

has resources to set up playgrounds and fitness clubs.

In other words

this

will bolster adolescents' fitness and build stamina.

Moreover

, they will endeavour to play sports

such

as cricket, football, and swimming and indulge themselves in physical activities.

Thus

this

will help in improving their well-being.

Besides

this

, the

government

can mark up the prices of sugar drinks and chocolate bars.

Hence

, parents will avoid these purchases. To summarise, the

government

has the power to sanction funds to promote healthy

food

eating habits, and open playgrounds to inculcate fitness. From my perspective, direct support from the higher authorities will help in minimising the rate of overweight and unhealthy children.

Submitted by vaidyadevika1 on Sat Jul 16 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

264 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
In most countries fast food is becoming cheaper and more available Do you think the advantage of this development outweigh the disadvantage?
In modern human society, we are witnessing a prominent phenomenon that indicates people’s lifespans have been increasing over the years in numerous nations. While some people argue that an ageing population could potentially become a problematic social issue for the government, others assert that there are undoubtedly several perks that we cannot overlook. Therefore, from my point of view, the benefits of having an ageing population clearly outweigh the drawbacks which will be further explained in this essay.
<4
band
Some people find it difficult to manage their money. How could the goverment help prevent debt problems and support such people?
To prevent debt problems, the government must find a way to help people who struggle with managing their money. Unless people learn to manage their money, there will always be debt problems. In my opinion, if people learn to manage their money, the amount of debtors will decrease, therefore preventing debt problems.
6.5
band
You have just started a course in a college which has no sports facilities of its own. – statement/situation. Write a letter to the manager of the nearest private sports club. In your letter: •introduce yourself, •say why you are interested in this sports club •ask some questions about the club e.g. facilities, members, costs
The reason why I am addressing you is that I want to ask a few questions about your sports club as well as tell you about my willingness to participate in it.
5
band
Computers are becoming an essential part of school lessons. Do the advantages of using computers for learning outweigh its disadvantages?
Computers are essential tools used in education. There are different ways of learning at the same time different modes of learning. Learning may be enhanced by the use of computers by improving visual aids, communications and other aspects of learning. As what every technology entails it has advantages and disadvantages.
5.5
band
Many people argue that restaurants should be required to disclose the nuritional information of the dishes they serve. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
It is generally argued that restaurants ought to mention the nutritional facts of their menue. Although the hotel industry might lose its profitability by disclosing the information regarding nutrition, they will give awareness to masses about mindful eating. In my opinion, disclosed nutrition value on dishes encourages people to make healthy choices of food despite having plenty of options.

In many countries, children are becoming overweight and unhealthy. Some people think that the government has the responsibility to solve this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In most countries fast food is becoming cheaper and more available Do you think the advantage of this development outweigh the disadvantage?

Some people find it difficult to manage their money. How could the goverment help prevent debt problems and support such people?

Computers are becoming an essential part of school lessons. Do the advantages of using computers for learning outweigh its disadvantages?

Many people argue that restaurants should be required to disclose the nuritional information of the dishes they serve. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?