In many countries, children are becoming overweight and unhealthy. Some people think that the government has the responsibility to solve this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #children #people #government #responsibility

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Obesity is prevailing among adolescents. Many argue that the onus should be on the

government

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to mitigate

this

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issue. From my viewpoint,

although

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it will be difficult for the authorities to manage the eating patterns of children, they can still take steps to tackle

this

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issue. In

this

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essay, I will support my argument in the upcoming paragraphs. To commence with, the

government

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can spread awareness to a wide-range and target school students.

Moreover

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, the officials can introduce a subject pertaining to

food

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nutrition and add it to the curriculum. They can

also

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train the teachers to pass down the knowledge of eating a well-balanced diet. Apart from

this

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, the

government

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can organise a poster-making competition or a quiz which is related to a healthy lifestyle theme.

Additionally

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, authorities can grant funds to provide healthy meals for the children.

Thus

Linking Words

this

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will encourage them to consume nutritious

food

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over junk

food

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Furthermore

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, the

government

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has resources to set up playgrounds and fitness clubs.

In other words

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this

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will bolster adolescents' fitness and build stamina.

Moreover

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, they will endeavour to play sports

such

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as cricket, football, and swimming and indulge themselves in physical activities.

Thus

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this

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will help in improving their well-being.

Besides

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this

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, the

government

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can mark up the prices of sugar drinks and chocolate bars.

Hence

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, parents will avoid these purchases. To summarise, the

government

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has the power to sanction funds to promote healthy

food

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eating habits, and open playgrounds to inculcate fitness. From my perspective, direct support from the higher authorities will help in minimising the rate of overweight and unhealthy children.

Submitted by vaidyadevika1 on Sat Jul 16 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

264 words

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In many countries, children are becoming overweight and unhealthy. Some people think that the government has the responsibility to solve this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

People are using a lot of online language translation apps. Do the benefits of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people believe that social media sites, such as Facebook or Twitter, have a negative impact on young people and their ability to form personal relationships. Others believe that these sites bring people together in a beneficial way.

You have recently attended a job interview and have been offered the job. Write a letter to the company accepting the job offer, and provide details about when you will be able to start and any other information you think they may need.

Nowadays, not enough students choose science subjects at university in many countries. Why is this? What effect does this have on society?

The graph below the contribution of three sectors _ agriculture _ manufacturing and business and financial services _ to the UK in the twentieth century.