IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

In spite of the advances made in agriculture , many people around the world still go hungry. why is this case ? what can be done ?

#spite #advances #agriculture #people #world #case
Hunger
,
Crisis
,
World
Hunger
,
Agriculture
,
Technoogy
Correct your spelling
Technology
, Thesis, Poverty and
Hunger
 Topic - Gap between rich and poor. Example - Africa. Undernourished child. Topic - Technological advancement,
right
Add an article
the right
show examples
 food,
right
 culture. example -
green
Add an article
a green
show examples
 revolution. What can be done - increase
organic
Add an article
the organic
show examples
 content of
soil
Add an article
the soil
show examples
, prevent
desertifn
Correct your spelling
desertion
 Conclusion - It is something solvable,
right
Add an article
the right
show examples
 set of economic measures and We are living in the 21st Century, where technology is not just being used for online shopping but
also
 for
agriculture
 and farming.
Correct your spelling
In spite
Inspite
Correct your spelling
In spite
 of the many advancements in the field of
Agriculture
, many parts of the
world
 are still fighting with
hunger
crisis
. Modern technology is extensively getting used in the field of
Agriculture
.
Right
 from sowing, to irrigation, to harvesting, all the way to packaging of food, technology is making the entire process faster and
efficient
Correct quantifier usage
more efficient
show examples
.
Furthermore
, new technologies
such
 as machine learning and
Artifical
Correct your spelling
Artificial
 intelligence is making farming much easier by predicting weather conditions, rainfall, etc.
However
, still many
Correct your spelling
underdeveloped
show examples
under developed
Correct your spelling
underdeveloped
show examples
 and developing nations mainly in the Asian and African continent
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
undernourshiment
Correct your spelling
undernourishment
prevelant
Correct your spelling
prevalent
. In my opinion, it is mainly due to socio-economic
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
such
 as the gap between the rich and poor in those countries being the largest.
Additionally
, heavy use of fertilizers and chemicals on the soil is sucking out the nutrient content from the soil leading to desertification. In conclusion,
Hunger
Add an article
the Hunger
show examples
crisis
 is a very sensitive issue and needs to be handled with empathy. The government can take
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 measures
such
 as providing free
ration
Fix the agreement mistake
rations
show examples
 to the poor, supplying mid-day meals for kids in public schools, banning the use of
long term
Add a hyphen
long-term
show examples
 use of fertilizers and providing economic benefits to farmers doing organic farming. I think,
its
Correct your spelling
it's
show examples
 high time, governments across the
world
 start taking
world
Correct article usage
the world
show examples
hunger
crisis
 seriously.
Submitted by an_banerjee007 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • inequality
  • distribution
  • access to resources
  • climate change
  • natural disasters
  • political factors
  • economic factors
  • agricultural practices
  • infrastructure
  • transportation
  • population growth
  • education
  • knowledge
  • food waste
What to do next:
Look at other essays: