Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting the usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#people #health #alternative #medicines #treatments #doctor #development

During ancient times,

people

used to treat themselves by creating their own medicines. Nowadays because of technological developments,

people

go to

hospitals

However

, some do not go to

hospitals

because they do not want to get in touch with

people

This

is not

also

a great idea as the doctors have better

knowledges

Change the wording

knowledge

pieces of knowledge

bits of knowledge

show examples

in medicinal fields.

Firstly

, traditional medicine is made from herbs without mixing chemicals and they used to prefer

this

method. Most

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

people

knew how to treat themselves without seeing doctors when there was no hospital like today.

In addition

, because of advanced technologies, they learn everything from internet platforms like google,

facebook

Change the capitalization

Facebook

show examples

and youtube.

However

, one should not believe in that sources absolutely.

On the other hand

, the public nowadays thinks that medicine was actually mixed with chemicals which will affect them later.

Besides

, the medicines are really expensive as it is

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

difficulty

Replace the word

difficult

show examples

for them to buy from pharmacies and

also

some patients are allergic to medicines.

However

, we have to think before getting late.So even if some are allergic to drugs, a doctor will definitely change that drug and treat it. To conclude, it is better if patients visit

hospitals

and consult doctors

instead

of trying their own treatment.

Moreover

, promoters should motivate the community to come to

hospitals

and do health facilities appropriately and exactly.

Submitted by tr.zarwaihnin on Sat Jul 16 2022

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

221 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

alternative medicines
treatments
positive development
negative development
health problems
usual doctor
access
personalized approach
holistic well-being
lack of regulation
evidence-based research
proper medical treatment

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Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting the usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

You recently purchased a product that turned out to be faulty. Write a letter to the store manager, complaining about the issue and requesting a replacement or refund.

Some people think that the development of technology has made our life more complex, and the solution is to live a simpler life without technology. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that people who choose a job early and keep doing it are more likely to get a satisfying career life than those who frequently change jobs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

"Air pollution in major cities is a significant issue. What are some potential causes of this problem, and what strategies can be implemented to tackle it?"