Anybody can use a mobile phone to answer the work and personal calls at any time or 7 days a week. Does this development have more positive or negative effects on both individuals and society?

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There is a controversial argument about an increasing number of state-of-the-art electric devices applied for private purposes during the day.
While
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this
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technological revolution could bring benefits for both individuals and society, I believe the drawbacks of modern
technology
Use synonyms
could cause severe problems for the owners. On the one hand, a technical connecting device could become useful in certain situations and bring expected results for
technology
Use synonyms
enthusiasts.
Initially
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,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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wifi-connecting cell phones could take people to close relationships with others, including national and international ones.
In addition
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, regardless of the geographic distance or language barriers, people could build a good connection with each other. Overseas students,
for example
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, get a scholarship and go abroad to study, thanks to the
technology
Use synonyms
which assists in keeping in touch with their families to hold their confidence and feel less lonely of cultural shock.
Secondly
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, work discussion could be addressed indirectly through mobile
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
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by taking a call or making a video meeting to figure out the issues.
This
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could save time and reduce the carbon footprint during the transportation process leading to being safe for employers and enhancing the life quality for residents in over the world. To illustrate it, the employer could get electrical mail through their phones to take cover the private missions for just a minute and reply immediately to their opinion which enhances the working performance.
On the other hand
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, technical dependence has many severe consequences for people and their countries as well.
Firstly
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,
technology
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consumes time and prevents face-to-face communication, which causes
losing
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people to lose
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social relationships,
becoming
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become
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introverts, or even
becoming
Wrong verb form
become
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depressed.
Secondly
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, using modern devices in
long
Correct article usage
the long
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term could be affected by
lacking
Wrong verb form
a lack of
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activities, which leads to serious health problems
such
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as heart-related disease, and weakening kidney and lung functions. The youngsters,
for instance
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, who could not undergo the experience of the outdoor curriculum may get the undesired results for their health, compared to the ones of the same age who
witnesses
Correct subject-verb agreement
witness
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fresh air in the park. In conclusion,
while
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technology
Use synonyms
is created to serve as a useful tool for better quality, I strongly believe personal devices are more negative effects than their advantages.
Submitted by nhunhutran1996 on

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task response
Ensure that the essay fully addresses all parts of the question and stays on topic throughout. Additionally, provide clearer examples to better support the main points.
coherence cohesion
Focus on creating a clear and logical structure for the essay, including a well-defined introduction and conclusion. Ensure that all main points are supported with relevant examples and details.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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