IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Some people prefer the lifestyle and activities offered when living in a cold environment. Others prefer a hot environment. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #lifestyle #activities #environment
Geographical conditions are to affect
people
 in various ways. Some individuals are more prone to integrate
in
Change the preposition
into
with
show examples
 cold regions, others can choose the warmer zones.
Nonetheless
, apart from seasonal features, these types of preferences of persons are connected to their psychological structures. In general, in the light of scientifical studies, while the introvert characters head toward cold climate conditions, extrovert ones select the hotter climate in relative. As it is mentioned in the
first
 paragraph, those who have the characteristic features which are in the limited connections with other individuals are to internalize the harsh wheater conditions
such
 as windy, cold or snowy. The main reason for
this
 situation is that the cold climate, up to a degree, blocks the social environment of
people
,
such
 as the meeting or other events. Normally, it can be claimed that
cold
Correct article usage
the cold
show examples
 natural environment reflects the emotional fields of introverted
people
. On the other side, if the sunny days and persons who would like to make various activities, especially in hot wheaters are compared to each other, it is overt that a strong correlation exists in terms of emotional ways.
For example
, vivid
people
 in terms of social have the capability of setting a close
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
show examples
 with
another individuals
Replace the adjective
another individual
other individuals
show examples
. Because hot climates give a lot of opportunities to
people
.
In other words
, the open climates symbolize a more active lifestyle. Eventually, the choices taken by
people
 are rather various and they depend on different factors. The fundamental fact lies behind, as referred to
the
Change preposition
at the
show examples
 entrance of
this
 text, is based on mental points of view and personal features
or
Correct your spelling
of
show examples
 inborn traits.
Submitted by canertiryaki on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: