In traditional or religious festivals. during festival periods people nowadays only want to enjoy themselves to what extent you agree or disagree with this opinion?

this

day and age, the vast majority of

people

attend religious or traditional-based festivals merely for fun. and they don't recall the background story that lies behind these

events

anymore. I agree that during festivals attendees just want to have a good time,

however

, I disagree that the meaning which lies behind these

events

has been forgotten. Primarily, many historical

events

are taught in depth to children from kindergarten to even college majors in different ways, namely via shows,

school

projects and

school

subjects. If the meaning behind was forgotten,

then

they wouldn't have been celebrated anymore! I personally know many non-Christians that not only celebrate Christmas but

also

are aware of its details. other ceremonies

such

as the bonfire or Yalda night and Nowruz are being celebrated globally and explained in detail with the help of social media and the

school

's special programs.

for instance

; Nowruz ,the Iranian New Year, is celebrated in the White House annually.

Secondly

, I believe that traditional and religious

events

are not taken seriously, it's a decent place for folks to gather and get away from polluting poisonous thoughts and

also

arms us with a great opportunity to mix with new

people

as well. I personally attended a festival called bonfire

last

year and I didn't pay any heeds to the history behind it but, I made so many loyal and caring

people

and I was filled with joy. another salient point to bear in mind

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

is that many of those who participate are neither religious nor interested in any kind of background history. In conclusion, I agree that some group of

people

attend festivals because they want a colourful and fun place to meet their friends and clear their head from stressful thoughts,

however

, I stand against the idea that the background of

such

events

are forgotten because they are taught in

school

people

speak about them in social media and some TV programs.

Submitted by atizv555 on Sun Jul 17 2022

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Fully explain your ideas

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

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Sentence 2 - Example
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Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

321 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

commercialization
cultural heritage
globalization
individualism
instant gratification
media influence
traditional customs
religious significance
contemporary festivities
blend
preserving traditions
generational differences
broad societal changes
collective activities

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In traditional or religious festivals. during festival periods people nowadays only want to enjoy themselves to what extent you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Fully explain your ideas

Many people assume that the goal of every country should be to produce more materials and goods. To what extent do you agree or disagree that constantly increasing production is an appropriate goal? You should write at least 250 words

Some Children spend a long time each day on their smartphone. Why is this? Is this a positive or negative development?

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Computer and A.I technology are increasingly being used for online education.Can artificial intelligence enhance the learning experience? Is this a positive or negative development?

We are living in a throw-away society and things are used in a shorter period I of time and thrown away. What are the causes of this phenomenon and what problems might it cause?