Some people think job satisfaction is more important than job security, while others think that people cannot be expected to enjoy a job satisfaction and having permanent job. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is believed by certain individuals, that
job
Use synonyms
gratification is more paramount while others opine that
work
Use synonyms
security is much better than the pleasure that comes with it.
Although
Linking Words
satisfaction from
work
Use synonyms
is important and leads to happiness and
career
Use synonyms
advancement, in my opinion,
permanent
Add an article
a permanent
show examples
job
Use synonyms
ensures
steady
Correct article usage
a steady
show examples
income and
rest
Use synonyms
of mind. On the
one
Use synonyms
hand, some
people
Use synonyms
believe that gratification from
work
Use synonyms
is essential as it leads to them being happy.
That is
Linking Words
to say, when
people
Use synonyms
gain a
job
Use synonyms
that is
Linking Words
accompanied
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
all the substantial benefits they look out for, they feel overwhelmed in life and as
Linking Words
such
Add a comma
,such
show examples
they are always fulfilled and happy carrying out their
task
Fix the agreement mistake
tasks
show examples
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
.
Also
Linking Words
, it
clearly
Add a missing verb
is clearly
show examples
evident that
people
Use synonyms
who are happy and satisfied with their employment, tend to move
further
Linking Words
in their
Use synonyms
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
.
In other words
Linking Words
, individuals will
Correct your spelling
always
alway
Correct your spelling
always
acquire more skills and
degree
Fix the agreement mistake
degrees
show examples
to avail them
put
Fix the infinitive
to put
show examples
more effort
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
their
work
Use synonyms
and achieve their stipulated goals,
hence
Linking Words
subsquently
Correct your spelling
subsequently
leading to more
fulfillment
Change the spelling
fulfilment
show examples
. Take
Linking Words
for
Add the comma(s)
,for
show examples
instance, a survey conducted in an oil and gas company in America revealed that
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
of their employees are improving in their
Use synonyms
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
by bagging more degrees due to the pleasure
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
derive from their
job
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, a secured
job
Use synonyms
will always ensure
steady
Correct article usage
a steady
show examples
in-flow of money and
rest
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, when an individual's
work
Use synonyms
or contract is safe and secured without interruption, the employee is sure of
steady
Correct article usage
a steady
show examples
monthly
fund
Fix the agreement mistake
funds
show examples
into
Change preposition
in
show examples
his or her pocket and as
such
Linking Words
do
Correct subject-verb agreement
does
show examples
not need to beg or borrow money from neighbours.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
permanent
Correct article usage
a permanent
show examples
job
Use synonyms
bring
Change the verb form
brings
show examples
about
rest
Use synonyms
in the life of the
people
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
means that a lifetime
job
Use synonyms
without
threat
Add an article
the threat
show examples
of termination at any point and
one
Use synonyms
which encourages retirement ensures adequate peace of mind for the populace.
Therefore
Linking Words
, individuals
does
Change the verb form
do
show examples
not need to jump from
one
Use synonyms
place to another in search of
work
Use synonyms
. To exemplify, a report from Sun newspaper showed that in Japan, citizens do not move from
one
Use synonyms
organization to another rather they spend their lifetime in a particular
job
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, in as much as satisfaction in a particular
job
Use synonyms
brings about happiness and
career
Use synonyms
upgrade, I think that continuous salary and
rest
Use synonyms
of mind which is attributed to a secured
job
Use synonyms
is more
cruical
Correct your spelling
crucial
critical
.
Submitted by agozie2018 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: