IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Modern technology is creating a single world culture. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

#technology #world #culture #support
Nowadays there are a
lot
 of unique and new
technologies
 for everyday
life
 and for science. It leads to the foundation of a whole common culture. I tend to disagree with
this
 statement. On the one hand, technical progress has got a start for the improvement of
life
 of the people population. Fortunately,today we don`t think about fire extraction and killing wild animals to provide our family with necessary
sources
Correct your spelling
resources
show examples
 for
life
. Certainly,
world
 payment
technologies
, the developing agriculture industry, education sphere
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 creating a unique community.
On the other hand
, the number of modern
technologies
 is significantly growing only in the developed countries.
For instance
, a
lot
 of African communities feel a lack of
poor
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
water, food and clothes.
Likewise
, there are wild territories all over the
world
. In
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
areas
Add a comma
areas,
show examples
 people need to hunt and use fair in their everyday
life
. Certainly, it has several causes.
Firstly
, climatic conditions usually determine the type of soil.
Consequently
, If you live in a poor country with constant drought and wind erosion you don`t have a possibility for farming. If you live in a
reach
Correct your spelling
rich
show examples
 country which can provide you necessary equipment, seeds and fertilizers you will become part of the
world
 agriculture community and you will get the ability to improve your products in other countries and on different continents.
Secondly
, modern
technologies
 depend on the level of education.
For example
, if you
got
Verb problem
have
show examples
 a
lot
 of professional skills, probably, you will
achieve
Rephrase
probably achieve
show examples
 a successful career. There are a
lot
 of famous universities in Europe and in the USA but there are no schools in Africa. It leads to
forming
Correct article usage
the forming
show examples
social
Change preposition
of social
show examples
 layers. To summarize, on my opinion the single
world
 culture means culture in developed countries.
Submitted by anastasiya.tynisson on

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coherence cohesion
The essay displays some logical structure but lacks a clear introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
The essay partially responds to the task but does not provide a fully comprehensive view.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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