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Writing Samples
Band 6

There are growing demands for fresh water nowadays and this is becoming a global problem. What are the causes and solutions?

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Fresh
water
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 is considered one of the most severe problems the world is facing today. Rapid population growth and climate change appear to be the main causes of the problem, and effective measures tend to lie in green technology and raising public awareness. The more the population and urban areas grow, the more the demand for fresh
water
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 increases, as it is the backbone of survival. Not only do people residing in both cities and the countryside rely on
water
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 to drink, but they
also
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 use it on a daily basis, ranging from washing dishes, doing laundry
to
Punctuation problem
, to
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 agricultural expansion, all of which lead to severe
water
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 scarcity.
For example
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, in populated countries like China, where
water
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 shortages are frequent, issues related to
fresh
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freshwater
water
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 consumption are likely to arise. Climate change is another cause of
this
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 issue. The
water
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 cycle is often disrupted by global warming, meaning that the amount of rainfall declines, which in turn results in less natural fresh
water
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 flow, thereby exacerbating the impact of the problem even
further
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. To tackle
this
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 issue, there seem to be several solutions involved.
First,
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investing in filtration and processing technologies – which purify undrinkable
water
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 into consumable
water
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 by removing pollutants and adding beneficial supplements – seems to be a viable option. If contaminants are removed from
water
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 bodies, it may not only become a supplement to underground
water
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 reserves, but
also
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 improve the
overall
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 well-being of the public. Take the city of Dubai, where access to fresh
water
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 is limited
and
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, and
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 these technologies have already been applied to supply
water
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, as a pertinent example. Another solution is raising public awareness. Once people are encouraged to become environmentally conscious through training and government campaigns, they may
realize
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realise
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 the negative consequences of their actions,
thus
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 using natural resources, including
water
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, more wisely and bringing about positive outcomes. In conclusion, the ever-rising
number of the
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apply
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population worldwide and changing weather conditions appear to be the main roots of depleting fresh
water
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 sources.
However
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,
this
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 can be tackled by a combination of technological advancements and increased public awareness.

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task response
For task response, your answer is full and on topic. To get a higher score, add one more clear idea about causes or solutions, such as farming waste or water recycling at home.
task response
For task response, your examples are good, but they are a bit general. Try to make one example more exact and direct.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay is easy to follow and has a clear paragraph plan. To improve, make some links shorter and more natural.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, some long sentences carry many ideas. Split one or two of them to make your meaning even clearer.
task response
For task response, you answer both parts of the question well: causes and solutions are both clear.
task response
For task response, your main ideas are relevant and developed with support.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your introduction and conclusion are both clear and effective.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, each body paragraph has a clear main focus.
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