IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Student should be encouraged to work part-time. Do you agree or disagree?

#student #work
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In
this
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 contemporary epoch, a section of society holds a belief that the
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students
stiudents
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students
 must
valiant
Add a missing verb
be valiant
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 to work
Add a hyphen
part-time
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part
Add a hyphen
part-time
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time
Use synonyms
. In
this
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 essay,
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 will outline my point of view
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regarding
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regrading
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regarding
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this
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 matter. To commence with, the students who are doing part-
time
Use synonyms
 are more likely to unable to
fucus
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focus
show examples
 in their class properly. The
predominat
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predominant
predominate
 factor that leads to that way is they lack sleeping hours as they are
hective
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active
 with their part-
time
Use synonyms
 work.
Although
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 it seems not a huge deal,
but
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apply
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the effect
to
Change preposition
on
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 the teenagers themselves
influence
Correct subject-verb agreement
influences
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 their academic. It is really vital for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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students
such
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 that age to prioritize
on
Change preposition
apply
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their
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
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first
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instead
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 of doing something that they will
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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regret
for
Change preposition
apply
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in the future.
On the other hand
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,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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adolescents will face
a
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apply
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difficulty in managing their
time
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, if they keep working as a part-timer.
Consequently
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, they might skip the
prominebt
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prominent
 class for a long period
Use synonyms
time
Change preposition
of time
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, as they are already
blinsided
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blindsided
blinded
 by money that they get from
this
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 kind of
working
Change the form of the verb
work
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. People, chiefly the parents cannot turn a blind eye to
this
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 matter as
to evade
Change the verb form
evading
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 it
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become
becomne
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becomes
 more critical. The teenagers should avail their golden
time
Use synonyms
 to study not doing something that can
procastinate
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procrastinate
 their
time
Use synonyms
. In a nutshell, working as
part-timer
Add an article
a part-timer
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 is not suitable for the students, as they must
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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put their
academic
Fix the agreement mistake
academics
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 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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first
Linking Words
 place rather
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than
tha
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than
 anything. In my opinion, it is not a crime to work as a part-timer, but sometimes it has more demerits
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than
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tan
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than
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 merits for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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adolescents.
Submitted by hadamajwad on

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