IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

With the increased global demand in oil and gas, undiscovered areas of the world should be be opened up to access more resources. To what extent do you agree?

#demand #oil #gas #areas #world #access #resources
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Question With the increased global demand
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
oil
 and
gas
, undiscovered areas of the world should be opened up to access more resources. To what extent do you agree? Response
As a result
 of
high
Correct article usage
the high
show examples
 demand
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
oil
 and
gas
 worldwide, undetected regions of the universe should be given access to the reserve
in-order
Correct your spelling
in order
show examples
 to obtain more supplies. I believe
this
 will benefit a larger population and
also
 prevent some gangers;
Correct article usage
a detail
show examples
detail
Replace the word
detailed
show examples
 explanation will be given in
this
 essay.
To begin
 with, the
product
 should be made available and easily accessible. Fuel
availability
 enables easy movement of goods and services from one location to another.
For instance
, whenever there is
scarcity
Add an article
a scarcity
the scarcity
show examples
 of automobile
gas
, a journey of about 30km
cost
Correct subject-verb agreement
costs
show examples
 up to thirty US Dollars in Nigeria.
Secondly
,
availability
Correct article usage
the availability
show examples
 of premium motor spirit will prevent the
product
 from being adulterated by marketers of the
product
. In an attempt to generate high income, some marketers mix fuel with other
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
 and
sale
Replace the word
sell
show examples
 to buyers.
Finally
, if the
product
 is readily available,
this
 ingenuous act will be avoided.
Furthermore
, hoarding of
oil
 and
gas
 will lead to scarcity.
This
 is curb when other places around the world are open for exploration and refining of the
product
.
For example
, crude
oil
 was discovered in
olo-ibiri
Change the capitalization
Olo-ibiri
show examples
 in Bayelsa State, South-south Nigeria many years ago,
this
Correct word choice
and this
show examples
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 led to
accessibility
Add an article
the accessibility
show examples
 of fuel all over the country.
Lastly
, illegal method of the delving of
gas
 often results in water pollution.
This
 leads to
destruction
Add an article
the destruction
show examples
 of aquatic
lives
Fix the agreement mistake
life
show examples
. In conclusion, because of
huge
Add an article
the huge
show examples
 demand
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 premium motor
spirit
Fix the agreement mistake
spirits
show examples
, undisclosed places within the world should be granted
privilege
Correct article usage
the privilege
show examples
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 getting some quantity of the
product
. Though hoarding of
this
product
 will lead to scarcity,
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
however
 its
availability
 and accessibility will enable easy movement of goods and services
as well as
 individuals. I
therefore
 opined that Governments at all levels should ensure
availability
Correct article usage
the availability
show examples
 of
oil
 and
gas
. word count, 315 words.
Submitted by agozie2018 on

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • global demand
  • finite resources
  • energy consumption
  • exploiting
  • untouched ecosystems
  • carbon emissions
  • climate change
  • renewable energy
  • sustainable energy solutions
  • geopolitical consequences
  • territorial disputes
  • dependency
What to do next:
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