Some people believe that companies should be allowed to collect data about customers freely, while others believe this practice should be restricted. Discuss both sides of this issue.

#people #companies #data #customers #practice

Some people argue that it is appropriate for

companies

to collect

data

from customers, while others believe

this

action should be banned. From my point of view, I think private sectors should collect

data

under some regulation. The reason why I think so is that customers can harvest benefits if letting

companies

collect their

data

. On the one hand, by collecting customers'

data

companies

can transform them into insights, which help to improve their products and services for the better.

As a result

, individuals can enjoy these positive results.

On the other hand

, if the practice of

companies

collecting personal

data

is completely restricted, it would be disastrous in a lot of fields, since various researches are based on those quantitative

data

For example

data

can be so useful in the clinical field, and medical

companies

use

data

to develop new medicine. If the

data

collecting process is illegal, the development of new medicine may slow down or even stagnate at some point.

However

, I do believe the process of collecting

data

by commercial

companies

should be under regulation.

Submitted by 454384208 on Mon Jul 18 2022

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

179 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

personalized
targeted
advertising
improved
products
services
efficient
decision-making
invasion
privacy
misuse
security
risks
manipulation
discrimination
consent
control
regulation
innovation
balance
convenience
implementing
protection
transparency
accountability
ethical

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Some people believe that companies should be allowed to collect data about customers freely, while others believe this practice should be restricted. Discuss both sides of this issue.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some people think that wealth is the best way to judge wether someone is successful. What is your opinion?

The government has the responsibility to ensure the safety of its citizens. Therefore, some people think that the government should increase spending on defense but spend less on social benefits. To what extent do you agree?

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

The government should pay for the course fees for everyone who wants to study at the university. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.