It is important for people to take risks, both in their personal lives and professional lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risk outweigh the disadvantages

#people #risks #lives #risk

It is undeniable that taking

risks

has

significant

Add an article

a significant

show examples

impact on

individuals’s

Remove the s

individuals’

show examples

personal and career lives . I go along with

this

view that creat

risks

will be positive on the whole and will have the potential for growth and advancement . Critics of

this

trend suggest that people without accepting

risks

do not have an opportunity to make

progress

in their careers.

This

argument rests on the fact that the rate of productivity and creativity are decreasing in some well-known

Correct your spelling

companies

componies

Correct your spelling

companies

due to the fact that

emlpoyees

Correct your spelling

employees

are content with their position in society. As well as , Most of the young generations have faced problems in their personal relationship.they do not have a tendency to recognize people and establish relationships with peers because of a lack of accepting

risks

.The result of

this

is that

vast

Correct article usage

the vast

show examples

majority of adults are faced with psychological

Correct your spelling

problems

probles

Correct your spelling

problems

such

as depression and anxiety . Proponents of taking

risks

on the other hand

, argue the

tengible

Correct your spelling

tangible

ramifications concerning

make

Wrong verb form

making

show examples

progress

in your position works . Ambitious people are more likely to become successful in their

career

Fix the agreement mistake

careers

show examples

by chasing their dreams in fields which have lots of challenging and

risks

. They understand that

take

Wrong verb form

taking

show examples

risks

not only

give

Correct subject-verb agreement

gives

show examples

them

opportunity

Add an article

the opportunity

an opportunity

show examples

saisfy

Correct your spelling

satisfy

their

nedd

Correct your spelling

need

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

also

is the way for making

progress

to have promotion

Correct your spelling

show examples

ate

Correct your spelling

show examples

work.

Correct your spelling

Furthermore

Furthemore

Correct your spelling

Furthermore

, some advanced countries

Correct your spelling

believe

show examples

belive

Correct your spelling

believe

show examples

that one of the crucial responsibilities of government is that

Correct your spelling

prepare

prepar

Correct your spelling

prepare

infrastructures for teenagers and

Correct your spelling

teach

show examples

tech

Correct your spelling

teach

show examples

them how to establish and develop

Correct your spelling

relationships

relationship

realtionship

Correct your spelling

relationships

with their genders , because of that most of them do not

any

Add a missing verb

have any

show examples

bstcales

Correct your spelling

obstacles

in their future In Conclusion , taking

risks

will have been direct

impacts

Fix the agreement mistake

impact

show examples

on people’s growth and

progress

in order to personal or official lives. I appreciate

this

point of view that one of the

pragmatice

Correct your spelling

pragmatic

pragmatics

cause

Fix the agreement mistake

causes

show examples

risks

is improving your

characters

Fix the agreement mistake

character

show examples

Submitted by soulmaz.sh71 on Mon Jul 18 2022

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
35Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

310 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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11 Most Commonly Used English Expressions »

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It is important for people to take risks, both in their personal lives and professional lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risk outweigh the disadvantages

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

The central government, the city government and individuals should all be responsible for protecting the environment. Do you agree or disagree?

The main visitors to museums and historical sites are tourists, not local people. Why is it the case? What can be done to attract local people to these places

Lack of fresh water is becoming a global issue of increasing importance. What problems does this shortage cause? What measures could be taken to overcome these problems?

Some people believe that technology causes more problems for modern society than it solves. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

When international media (including movies, fashion shows, advertisements and other TV programs) convey the same messages to the global audience, people argue that the expansion of international media has negative impacts on cultural diversity. What is your opinion?