IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The provided pie charts shows how much energy used by Americans and gasses emiision from various sources

The provided pie charts shows how much energy used by Americans and gasses emiision from various sources
The provided pie charts compare the amount of
energy
Use synonyms
 used by Australians for household chores and how much
gresshouse
Correct your spelling
greenhouse
 gases are emitted by using the
energy
Use synonyms
 for different purposes. In general, Australians used the highest percentage of
energy
Use synonyms
 for heating ;
while
Linking Words
, using the
energy
Use synonyms
 for water heating ,
largest
Correct article usage
the largest
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proportion
Add an article
the proportion
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 of
gasses
Use synonyms
are
Change the verb form
is
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 released. It is ostensible that 42% of
power
Add an article
the power
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used
Add a missing verb
is used
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 for heating, which is 12
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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 higher than water heating (30%.). It is interesting to see that a tiny proportion (2%) and (4%) of electricity
used
Add a missing verb
is used
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 for cooling Lighting respectively. A large difference (8.1) fot be seen in wring power forand Refrigeration (7%) and other appliances (15%). Considering the emission of
gasses
Use synonyms
 , just over a
third
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 (32%) of
gasses
Use synonyms
 are released from water heating
whereas
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 only 3% of
gasses
Use synonyms
emit
Change the form of the verb
emitted
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from cooling. An insignificant proportion ( 15% ) and (14%) of
gasses
Use synonyms
released
Add a missing verb
are released
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 from heating and refrigeration. The emissions of
gasses
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 are (8%) and (28%) which is the result of lighting and other appliances
accordingly
Linking Words
.

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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words energy, gasses with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "provided" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the sixth paragraph.
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