IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that to be successful in sports ,people should have physical strength ,others believe that mental strength is more important.Discuss both views and state your opinion.

#people #sports #strength
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
As of result of
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
 activities requiring
Correct your spelling
manpower
show examples
man power
Correct your spelling
manpower
show examples
,a minority of
persons
Replace the word
people
show examples
 feel that for
success
Use synonyms
 to be achieved in the sporting world ,
individuals
Use synonyms
 should possess physical
Use synonyms
Correct your spelling
strength
strenght
Correct your spelling
strength
,while the majority of
individuals
Use synonyms
 think that the possession of psychosocial ability is more essential , as
this
Linking Words
 will help in decision making.in my opinion,I agree to the latter. On one hand,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 of games that have to do with
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
 activities are that which needs physical
Use synonyms
Correct your spelling
strength
strenght
Correct your spelling
strength
.if;
individuals
Use synonyms
 are to participate in
such
Linking Words
sports
Use synonyms
,there is
need
Correct article usage
a need
show examples
 for an optimum
Use synonyms
Correct your spelling
strength
strenght
Correct your spelling
strength
 level.
This
Linking Words
;is based on all
sports
Use synonyms
 competition
requires
Correct pronoun usage
that requires
show examples
 a high level of
sustainance
Correct your spelling
sustenance
sustainable
.Meanwhile,
this
Linking Words
 is only seen amongst those
are
Correct pronoun usage
who are
show examples
strong bodied
Add a hyphen
strong-bodied
show examples
 and can withstand any stress
Correct your spelling
encountered
encounted
Correct your spelling
encountered
.Take
Linking Words
for
Add the comma(s)
,for
show examples
 example,the football game in Nigeria,
this
Linking Words
 activity is one that lasts for an overall time
if
Correct your spelling
of
show examples
 90 minutes.
nevertheless
Linking Words
,for members of the team to achieve
success
Use synonyms
,they must possess an endurance skill.,whereas
this
Linking Words
 skill is only seen amongst
that
Correct pronoun usage
those that
show examples
have
Correct pronoun usage
who have
show examples
 the
man power
Correct your spelling
manpower
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
;mental ability is the other reason why the other group of persons are opinionated that it is more necessary to achieve
success
Use synonyms
 in the sporting world.if,
Use synonyms
individuals
Change noun form
individual's
show examples
 psychological strength is well intact,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
it will aid a good decision making.
however
Linking Words
;
this
Linking Words
 is because making decisions is the peak of all sporting
competition
Fix the agreement mistake
competitions
show examples
.
additionally
Linking Words
;mental health is a very important aspect of
Use synonyms
individuals
Fix the agreement mistake
individual
show examples
 well being.meanwhile;a deficit in an individual mental power can affect their decision making and
this
Linking Words
 is Paramount in the
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
 profession.Take
for instance
Linking Words
;
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
 tennis,the player
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 to be able to decide on how to play and the tactics to use. In my opinion;I concur
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the view that mental strength is very necessary to achieve
success
Use synonyms
 in
sports
Use synonyms
.
this
Linking Words
 is due to the use of the brain
is
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
 essential for all physical activities as the brain controls balance. In conclusion;
individuals
Use synonyms
 that are into
sports
Use synonyms
 should always see to their mental health as
this
Linking Words
 sustains their
psyological
Correct your spelling
psychological
Use synonyms
Correct your spelling
strength
strenght
Correct your spelling
strength
.
Submitted by agozie2018 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: