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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some children spend hours everyday on their smartphones.Why is this the case?Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Most
children
Use synonyms
 are allowed to use
phones
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 by their parents
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
Add an article
a
the
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new age.
This
Linking Words
 is believed to help
in
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apply
show examples
increase their knowledge and help them become familiar with gadgets
for example
Linking Words
phones
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 They end up using these
phones
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 to watch cartoons,play games,take pictures and so on. They could
therefore
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 become attached to their
phones
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 that most of their time is spent on them. It could have both positive and negative effects on them.
Although
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,the advantages could be more than the drawbacks.Some
children
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 when given the opportunity of having
phones
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 use
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 wisely with parent control,as
their
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 being restricted from using the phone for a particular time,
for example
Linking Words
, most parents allow their kids use the
phones
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 during playtime only. They are only allowed to play games and watch educative films or cartoons with it.
This
Linking Words
 will help
such
Linking Words
children
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 to learn more and prevent them from spending excess time on their
phones
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. Other kids,that are restricted or controlled by their parents could be affected negatively as
this
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 will result in the misuse of those handsets of smartphones.They end up browsing the internet through it and discovering various sites that could influence them in a bad way,for
example
Add the comma(s)
,example
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 pornographic sites. In my opinion, I believe,it's a good development as it will help to expose the
children
Use synonyms
 to new happenings around them.And educate them more on their vocabulary, teaching them new things.It helps them to relax and
keep
Correct subject-verb agreement
keeps
show examples
 them calm In a kind
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
way.So with
parent
Add an article
a parent
show examples
 guide,the advantages of using gadgets are more than
it's
Correct your spelling
its
show examples
 disadvantages.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • smartphones
  • usage
  • technology
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • entertainment
  • gaming
  • social media
  • communication
  • educational resources
  • addiction
  • dependence
  • negative effects
  • physical health
  • mental health
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