Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Social issues related to
celebrities
' influence on young people
have been widely discussed among people
over centuries
. It is hard to deny that Correct article usage
the centuries
celebrities
set a positive model to
personal Change preposition
for
appearance
, and such
a fact leads impressionable people
to generate the opinion that famous people
are a good example for young people
. However
, such
a statement suffers from both logical and factual fallacies, and it should be examined meticulously. As far as materialism, personal development
and appearance
are concerned, I strongly hold that celebrities
set a bad example to
the young.
Change preposition
for
First
and foremost, wealthy superstars make young people
too materialistic, as the young tend to believe that money is everything. To be more specific, most of
Change preposition
apply
famous
Add an article
the famous
people
are promoted for their wealth on TV
, Change the noun form
tvs
such
as big houses, sports cars and luxury items they bought, and they look like
shiny and proud of what they possess. Change preposition
apply
As a result
, young people
would buy what luxury things their idols buy, though they could not afford these things, which may put a heavy burden on their families'
financial situation and make them pursue materialism.
Correct your spelling
families
Furthermore
, the fact that being more famous for glamour and wealth than achievements
of famous Correct article usage
the achievements
people
damages one's personal development
indicates that this
may be a bad role for the young.Take the case of one of my classmates, who indulges a beautiful idol and spends a lot of money on her albums. As a consequence, he seldom works hard in his study and failed in
the college entrance examination, which put an obstacle Change preposition
apply
on
his Change preposition
to
development
in the future. Had it not been for wasting time and money on the
Correct article usage
apply
celebrities
, my classmate would never have become failable on
his study.
Change preposition
in
Nevertheless
, a voice arises that glamorous people
on TV make young children be
aware of their Unnecessary verb
apply
appearance
, and this
is a positive trend. Ironically, the
young Correct article usage
apply
people
, especially those who lacks
self-discipline, would waste much of their time on dressing and making up themselves like movie stars, which can be Change the verb form
lack
otherwise
used in
studying or something useful. What's worse, they are likely to tidy up their Change preposition
for
appearance
at a young age because of the admiration for the pretty look of celebrities
. Therefore
, celebrities
are more famous for their charm than achievements
would make young Change preposition
for achievements
people
conscious of their appearance
too much.
In a nutshell, I maintain that as far as materialism, personal development
and appearance
are concerned, I strongly hold that being more famous for beauty and wealth than for achievements
of Correct article usage
the achievements
celebrities
sets a bad example to the young. Admittedly, as my favourite quote from James Madison goes, as long as the reason of man continues to fallible, different opinions will be formed, and some people
may oppose me. However
, I believe they will compromise after being exposed to my article.Submitted by 522167338 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!