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Band 5

In many countries today, major cities have become too big and overcrowded. Why is this? What measures could be taken to reduce this problem?

#countries #cities #measures
In
this
 modern era, where urbanisation is increasing day by day because of the facilities which are only available in
cities
. For a purpose of taking those
amanities
Correct your spelling
amenities
, people preferred to migrate to big
cities
 of their country. Various causes are associated with
this
 notion but
this
problem
 can be eradicated by taking some stringent measures. I will discuss my viewpoints in
coming
Correct article usage
the coming
show examples
 paragraphs. The list of reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 moving to urban
areas
 is
never ending
Add a hyphen
never-ending
show examples
.There are many provisions which are not available in
remote
Add an article
a remote
show examples
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
that
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
 the mind of
populance
Correct your spelling
populace
. Lack of education
insititutes
Correct your spelling
institutes
 and study material in rural
areas
 schools and students
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
fail to get a good quality education
that
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
directly
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
 their future and learners fail to get a job in higher positions because of enough knowledge.
Also
, in big
cities
 ,
alots
Correct your spelling
lots
a lots
 of job opportunities in public as well as in
private
Correct article usage
the private
show examples
 sector which give
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good pay to their employees and
they
Change the pronoun
them
show examples
 easily
Correct your spelling
fulfil
fullfil
Correct your spelling
fulfil
 their basic requirements .
That is
 why
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 huge amount of masses are moving to urban
areas
. One
examples
Change to a singular noun
example
show examples
 of Punjab's city
ludhiana
Change the capitalization
Ludhiana
show examples
 where millions of
polpulation
Correct your spelling
population
Change the verb form
are
show examples
is reside
Change the verb form
is resided
is residing
show examples
their
Replace the word
there
show examples
 because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
too much work is available
their
Replace the word
there
show examples
 for educated and
non educated
Add a hyphen
non-educated
show examples
 people. Government
help
Wrong verb form
helped
show examples
 to root out
this
problem
 by taking some simple steps. The higher authority should
built
Change the verb form
build
be built
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
education
insititutes
Correct your spelling
institutes
 which provide
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
proper study to learners .
In addition
, the
Correct your spelling
foreigner
foreign or
foreignor
Correct your spelling
foreign
 industry should invest their money in villages and establish
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
companies which
assist
Correct subject-verb agreement
assists
show examples
 to reduce the level of unemployment
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 rural
areas
 people.Those things
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
help
Change the form of the verb
helping
show examples
 to overcome the migration.So, Government should come
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the front to solve the
problem
 of urbanisation. In conclusion, there is no denying the fact that
this
problem
 has taken the
monsters
Change noun form
monster's
monsters'
show examples
 face
however
 nothing is insurmountable. So, it is possible to remove the
problem
 of
overcrowed
Correct your spelling
overcrowded
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
big
cities
 if
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 do some efforts.
Submitted by kheparsahil22 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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