Children are facing more pressure nowadays from academic, social and commercial perspectives. What are the causes of this pressure and what measures should be taken to reduce these pressures?

#children #pressure #perspectives #measures #pressures

There is a debate concerning that an increasing number of

children

are struggling with stress

come

Wrong verb form

coming

show examples

from academic, social

Correct your spelling

and

show examples

Correct your spelling

and

show examples

commercial sides.

This

essay

discuss

Change the verb form

discusses

show examples

the reasons for

this

pressure and

then

give some solutions

about

Change preposition

show examples

that. The

first

reason for that comes from peer competition.

Children

want to perform better than their peers

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

so that they can gain more praise from tutors,

parents

or even

other person

Change the wording

another person

other people

show examples

For example

, if they want to get

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

advanced tuition facilities or even achieve the global level, they need to have several contests with others and get the top praise in each

contests

Change to a singular noun

contest

show examples

Otherwise

, they would think they are

Correct article usage

a failure

show examples

failure

Fix the agreement mistake

failures

show examples

other person

Change the wording

another person

other people

show examples

Children

’s stress

also

comes from

parents

’

expectation

Fix the agreement mistake

expectations

show examples

. Most

parents

want their

children

perform

Add the particle

to perform

show examples

better in all perspectives,

such

as academic, social and commercial sides. If their

children

perform better, they would have more confidence to talk with other

parents

Therefore

children

would be asked to exceed in all fields.

This

situation can be changed if

parents

can set

realistic

Add an article

a realistic

show examples

expectation

Fix the agreement mistake

expectations

show examples

for their

children

and give them more time.

Additionally

Add an article

the school

a school

show examples

school

Fix the agreement mistake

schools

show examples

can set some educational classes for

children

and ask them to face the competition in

right

Add an article

the right

show examples

way. In conclusion, the situation

that

Change preposition

in that

show examples

children

face pressure can be changed through some appropriate methods. It is a good idea to reduce their stress

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

so that they can more relaxing child life.

Submitted by y.zhou46 on Mon Jul 18 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

230 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Academic expectations
Competitive job market
Intense study schedules
Omnipresence of social media
Unrealistic standards
Targeted by advertisements
Marketing campaigns
Material goods
Parental expectations
Peer pressure
Emotional stress
Conformity
Coping mechanisms
Mindfulness and meditation
Counseling and support services
Balanced lifestyle

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Children are facing more pressure nowadays from academic, social and commercial perspectives. What are the causes of this pressure and what measures should be taken to reduce these pressures?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Today our communications, medicine and transport systems all depend on computer technology. Our reliance on computer technology in these fields has created a dangerous situation. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

computé and A.I.technologyảe increasingly being used for online education. Can artificial intelligence enchance the learning experience? Is this a positive or nagative development?

Some people think reading stories in books is better than watching TV or playing computer games. To what extent do you agree or disagree?