IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Artists need a certain amount of freedom to develop their creativity. Some people think that artists should have total freedom to express any thoughts and ideas. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#artists #amount #freedom #creativity #people #thoughts
It is believed by some that
artists
 should not have any barriers or limits to
express
Wrong verb form
expressing
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 their creativity and ideas, while others think that giving them total freedom may be deleterious for our society. In my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
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 a certain degree of freedom should be permitted, but the total one should be avoided. In fact, throughout our history,
artists
 have always been responsible for change and progress and their works have been fundamental
for
Change preposition
to
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 our society.
For example
, Leonardo Da Vinci is responsible for the greater inventions of our history, and it is thanks to him that nowadays we live as we do. If at that time, his passion and scientific work were stopped by the public, maybe we would not have
the
Add a missing verb
had the
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 possibility to look at the masterpieces he created.
However
,
artists
 have
also
 a great responsibility, since their works are exhibited all over the world, and social media let them share everything they want in
real time
Add a hyphen
real-time
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. Even if we should respect everyone’s ideas, it is
also
 true that some messages are totally wrong, and their diffusion can spread hate and anger. For
instances
Fix the agreement mistake
instance
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, there are symbols,
such
 as the ‘Z’, that some sportsmen wore during
world
Correct article usage
the world
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 championship,
thus
 justifying the war in Ukraine.
This
 increased the diplomatic tension, not only in Europe
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 but all over the world. In
conclusion
Add a comma
,conclusion
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 the arts are fundamental for our society and freedom to
artists
 should always be granted unless it will cause
damages
Fix the agreement mistake
damage
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 and problems. There are some messages that will always be good and valuable, and
artists
 are the keepers of our values. But, as someone said ‘With great powers come great
responsibilities’
Correct your spelling
responsibilities
show examples
.
Submitted by giulia.piacentini1 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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