IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people like to try new things, for example, places to visit and types of food. Other people preferto keep doing things they are familiar with. Discuss both these attitudes and give your own opinion.

#people #places #visit #food #preferto #attitudes
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
With increasing financial condition and spending power, it is quite obvious that
food
Correct article usage
the food
show examples
 and tourism sectors have witnessed drastic improvement. It is argued that some
people
Use synonyms
 travel a lot and try various cuisines while others prefer their known ones. I believe that it is
personal
Add an article
a personal
show examples
 choice to explore various foods and tourist
places
Use synonyms
,
however
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 essay will discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
both types of attitudes. It has been said that “ the person who roams around gets honey” which simply
emphasize
Correct subject-verb agreement
emphasizes
show examples
 on
importance
Add an article
the importance
show examples
 of visiting tourist
places
Use synonyms
 and getting more knowledge. A visit to any place provides cultural information and historic knowledge about different communities and generations.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 frequently visit
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
different
places
Use synonyms
 and
trying
Wrong verb form
try
show examples
 various cuisines to get rid of their routine day to
job
Add an article
the job
a job
show examples
 and get relief from work stress.
However
Linking Words
, roaming and enjoying different food is a personal choice. In
developed
Add an article
a developed
show examples
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
, everyone wants to go on
world
Add an article
a world
show examples
tour
Fix the agreement mistake
tours
show examples
 once in
lifetime
Add an article
a lifetime
show examples
 to explore various aspects of different country and their
people
Use synonyms
.
The
Correct article usage
A
show examples
 recent survey shows in 2019, 38 % of young American
people
Use synonyms
 visited Asian countries while 29% of European
people
Use synonyms
 visited China. Some
people
Use synonyms
 do not prefer to visit different
places
Use synonyms
 and do not consume unknown food with which they are not familiar due to personal insecure feelings. They believe that reading
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
historical books and watching videos could provide
required
Add an article
the required
show examples
 information. In conclusion, I strongly believe that doing
tour
Add an article
a tour
the tour
show examples
 of various
places
Use synonyms
 and trying different types of foods enhance historical knowledge and create
strong
Add an article
a strong
show examples
 bond with various
people
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by rafikshama on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: