IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that the internet has brought people together while others think that people have become more isolated now.” Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

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A section of society holds a belief that the
internet
Use synonyms
 can unite others and
this
Linking Words
 medium has a plethora of benefits for folks. In my perspective, the
internet
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 allows
people
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 to interact regularly
in
Change preposition
apply
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virtual
Change the word
virtually
show examples
, chiefly those who are distant from each other. To commence with, social media is one of the platforms being widely used by individuals recently to communicate every single day.
For instance
Linking Words
,
people
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 can just click the screen on the phone
instead
Linking Words
 of meeting
face to face
Add a hyphen
face-to-face
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.
to begin
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 their conversation.
Therefore
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, nowadays, numerous devices are able to surf the
internet
Use synonyms
 as it is one of the vital mediums for exchanging communications. Research has been done on
this
Linking Words
 matter, of particular note is that almost 99% of
people
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 use the
internet
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 on a basic routine reported by the well-known newspaper, daily time. Looking at the proportion, it is crystal clear
indicating
Verb problem
apply
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that
internet
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 usage has been normalized among
people
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some might say that
people
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 are more likely will have
social-barriers
Correct your spelling
social barriers
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 issues. To exemplify that, children nowadays obsess with their digital devices until
skipping
Wrong verb form
they skip
show examples
 their meals.
Thus
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,
people
Use synonyms
 cannot turn a blind eye to
this
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 matter as it is nothing vital at all. The prominent point is that it is not a crime to use the
internet
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 daily but one has to know the scarce to avert something worse happening.
For instance
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, these kinds of habits will lead to isolating themselves for 24 hours in the room in their leisure,
whereas
Linking Words
 those times can be used to spend with their family. In conclusion, there is a demerit
by
Change preposition
of
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 using the
internet
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 as our routine daily,
Linking Words
nonetheless
Add a comma
nonetheless,
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 it cannot be denied that the
internet
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also
Linking Words
 has its own merit. I think the folks should scarce their
internet
Use synonyms
 usage if it has to.

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task response
The response addresses the prompt but lacks in-depth analysis and development, resulting in a superficial treatment of the topic.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a basic logical structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion. However, the development of ideas lacks coherence and cohesion, leading to disjointed and unclear presentation.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • E-commerce
  • Consumer behavior
  • Virtual marketplace
  • Cybersecurity
  • Digital footprint
  • Return policy
  • Comparison shopping
  • Customer reviews
  • Retail therapy
  • Logistics
  • User interface
  • Payment gateway
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