IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #choices
The choices can change our
life
. Some
people
, including me, hold the opinion that they face numerous options to select these days;
however
, others opine that most things in their
life
 are mandatory.
This
 essay delves into the matter
further
 and concludes at the end. It is argued that some
people
 find their
life
 full of obligatory choices. They believe that they can choose their educational field or follow their skill or talent
such
 as artistic inclination.
However
, it is not guaranteed their future career, and in the other words, they have to
everythying
Correct your spelling
everything
 to make a living.
However
,
this
 group does not consider the vigorous attempt of successful groups, which work in their
favorable
Change the spelling
favourable
show examples
 job field experienced and under gigantic pressure to achieve success. Actually, they chose that they did not strive as high as the successful
people
.
For example
, Jim Carry said that his father was a talented person
that
Correct word choice
and that
show examples
 he could have been a comedian;
however
, he chose to not try his chance.
People
 are in charge of their
life
's route. If we look at some of the professional soccer players, we will find out that everyone has many options to select
.
Change preposition
from.
show examples
For example
, Cristiano Ronaldo shows a brilliant performance at 37-year-olds, whereas Jack Wilshire ended up his career at age 26. In
this
 case, the former and the latter selected the professional and unprofessional
life
, respectively,
although
 both were talented.
In addition
, opting for an option to achieve something is not a linear path. It means that
people
 might select the option but they do not hit their crown achievement. In
this
 case, they should know that following what they chose has
not
Correct your spelling
no
show examples
straightforward
Add an article
the straightforward
a straightforward
show examples
 outcome, but
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is more like a long-awaited journey.
For instance
,
a
Correct word choice
if a
show examples
stock market trader was in
red
Correct article usage
the red
show examples
 for a while, he should not be disappointed
of
Change the preposition
in
with
by
about
show examples
 his decision because over the long term his approach would be profitable. In conclusion, all
people
 have to opt for many choices in their
life
, whereas they might face some obligatory
decision
Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
show examples
. But in general,
people
 can select their destiny through decisions.
Submitted by vengateshkr on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • overwhelmed
  • decision fatigue
  • paralysis by analysis
  • consumerism
  • globalization
  • personal autonomy
  • market saturation
  • option overload
  • decision-making process
  • psychological well-being
  • buyer's remorse
  • customization
  • trade-offs
  • minimalism
  • information superhighway
What to do next:
Look at other essays: