IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that to be successful in sport, physical strength is the most important factor. Others, however, think that it is more important to be mentally strong. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #sport #strength #factor
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
To achieve success in sport, some people believe that physical
fitness
 is the most crucial factor.Some people may oppose that mental
fitness
 is superior to
body
 strength.
This
 essay will discuss both perspectives before concluding that both sides are equally valid.
To begin
 with, overall
body
fitness
 plays a vital role to conquer the game.
Firstly
, all
sports
 test the level of physical endurance, so a well-trained
body
 is an integral element .The more practice in
body
 training, the more powerful
body
 is developed.
Secondly
, some
sports
 need strong muscles which can attack their opponents effectively.
For example
, Thai boxing has required the
fitness
 of players.To gain a bonus point, boxers have to hit their counterparts heavily to knock them down.
Therefore
, being fit is a basic requirement for all players before entering any tournaments.
However
, a healthy mindset is another factor that contributes to the accomplishment .
This
 means that without
this
 intrinsic component, it is hard to gain the
sports
 reward.Due to the sport's rules, coaching techniques need to be more strategic by mentoring their teams with positive thoughts.Both technical and physical support ultimately lead the team to reach its goals.
For instance
, looking back to a memorable volleyball match, Thai players beat the previous champion by being optimistic despite lower scores in the
first
 period. After training with their coach, they can become new winners.
Consequently
, a strong mentality should be the best-supporting part for any
sports
 player who desires a successful outcome. In conclusion,
although
 every sport demands a strong
body
 and a maximum level of health, mental well-being is
also
 an essential factor for receiving
sports
 achievement.If any team are ready with
such
 factors, the desired target is not too hard to attain.
Submitted by paisarnsi182 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: