Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
increasing the similarity between nations, have beneficial effects for communities
as well as
some drawbacks. I think globalization has more positive effects, purchasing the same products with higher qualities Linking Words
such
as cars, furniture, and clothes regardless of the geographical location is improving human lifestyles in many ways.
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to begin
with, globalization is the impact of more trade and communication, so people all over the world have access to various goods. Linking Words
for instance
, bananas and pineapples are growing in tropical weather and the countries with low temperatures have no idea how to consume these fruits, Linking Words
however
, cold countries like Canada and Europe now have the chance to consume them in any season, and the same goes for coffee seeds as it needs special climate feature to growth.
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furthermore
, in the past, the immigrants felt homesick because of the lack of their traditional objects, so they felt more anxious and missed, Linking Words
while
today they can find the ingredients and any local objects in a foreign country. Linking Words
this
leads to not only a stress-free lifestyle and becoming more productive, but Linking Words
also
they preserve the memory of their traditions and maybe transfer it to their child. it is true that global interactions changed people's lives in many ways. despite Linking Words
this
in some cases like local business or cultural diversity it causes some challenges. Linking Words
for example
, a local market has to decrease the prices in order to compete with high-quality existing products. Linking Words
in addition
, using the same goods simply changes people's taste for foods and cuisine, and Linking Words
also
the local customs are vanishing.
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to conclude
, finding similarities among nations has reduced the troubles of finding special objects and improved individuals' life quality. Linking Words
while
it caused problems for small markets and demolished cultural diversities, I believe the advantageous aspect of Linking Words
this
phenomenon outweighs the negative effects.Linking Words
Submitted by soltaninejad_sahel on
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Task Achievement
The essay provides a reasonable answer to the question, outlining both the benefits and drawbacks of globalization on product accessibility. To improve, aim to present a balanced argument for both views if the question requires discussion of both positive and negative aspects. Always ensure that examples are precise and directly relevant to the points being made, which was slightly lacking.
Coherence & Cohesion
The essay exhibits a logical structure, but some ideas and arguments could be presented in a more organized manner. The introduction and conclusion were present, which is positive. To enhance the organization of your writing, use clear topic sentences and ensure each paragraph sticks to one main idea. Transitions between ideas can be smoother and more cohesive.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.