IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Living in a big city can be bad for people's health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In
this
Linking Words
 contemporary epoch. There is
irrefutable
Correct article usage
an irrefutable
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 debate among folk about the impact of large places
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 there are copious inhabitants who argue that it would be devastating for a person's health to live in a populated centre. I partially agree with
this
Linking Words
 view
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 the reasons for
this
Linking Words
 statement will be discussed in the forthcoming paragraphs.
To begin
Linking Words
 , the positive side of
this
Linking Words
 notion is that cities are loaded with traffic that produces carbon monoxide
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 is injurious to health and
as well as
Linking Words
 noise pollution
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 is the second
preponderant
Correct word choice
most prominent
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 effect of living in these areas. To cite an example,
Linking Words
According
Fix capitalization
according
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 to a recent survey, 30% of Lahore
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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s
Correct your spelling
's
 population spend their lives in depressed conditions because of
unsatisfied
Use the right word
unsatisfying
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 noises like
vehicles
Check wording
vehicles'
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 horns, industrial machines, construction equipment
etc
Punctuation problem
, etc
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.
As a result
Linking Words
, these kinds of things can make life more worst.
On the other hand
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, to exemplify the views
for
Change preposition
on
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 the statement of why I disagree. The most preponderant point is that large societies assist individuals with various amenities
such
Linking Words
 as efficient hospitality, a clean climate, better schooling and stuff like that.
In addition
Linking Words
 to
this
Linking Words
, the benefits they provide
do
Verb problem
apply
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not only
do
Verb problem
apply
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work
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 when they come to be effective but
also
Linking Words
 enhance productivity and quality of life with much ease, efficacy and convenience.
As a result
Linking Words
, the merits provided by these cities can not
surpass
Wrong verb form
be surpassed
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. In
the
Correct article usage
a
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 nutshell,
Linking Words
According
Fix capitalization
according
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 to the
forenamed
Correct word choice
aforementioned
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 quarrels, I go for the balanced result because it is true that there is a risk to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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health by living in cities
but
Punctuation problem
, but
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 the advantages offered by these cannot
ignore
Wrong verb form
be ignored
show examples

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Structure
Use a clear plan: state your view, then give two to three reasons with one or two examples each.
Language
Make sentence in plain form. Avoid long chain of big words.
Cohesion
Stick to one idea per sentence. Use simple link words to show order.
Grammar
Check grammar: make 'is' agree with 'they', 'people', etc. 'life is worse' not 'life more worst'.
Content
Use real, simple examples and avoid too much fancy or wrong facts.
Task Response
The essay shows a clear effort to discuss both sides.
Coherence
There is a plan for the essay with an intro, body, and conclusion.
Task Response
The idea of balance is kept.
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