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Writing Samples /
Band 5

some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valueable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

#people #information #research #business #world #valueable
People
 believe  that it is good to  share  as much
acknowledgement
 as possible in scientific research, business, and the academic world. Others believe that some
acknowledgement
 is too precious to be shared freely.
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 believe  that there is  numerous  of
information
 to share with
people
.there
Correct your spelling
are
show examples
a re
Correct your spelling
are
show examples
lots
 of 
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
 to  we
Correct your spelling
have
ahve
Correct your spelling
have
 to  share all of  them.
Initially
,
people
 must have free access to all
information
. Everybody should reach all of them without
doubt
Add an article
a doubt
show examples
.
People
 must know everything
that is
 happening in the world or what is hiding in the background. There are
lots
 of drawbacks to sharing all of
this
acknowledgement
 with
people
,
such
 as various kinds of news, academic accomplishments, etc. Perhaps it is a secret of the state. It might have a bad impact on the country.
Secondly
,
people
 need to know and use crucial
information
 without paying. It might change their lifestyle and future.
such
 as academic achievement or the secret of being successful in life. There are numerous advantages to being aware of any kind of
information
.
Thirdly
, accessing
information
 should be free. Every single person should receive any type of
acknowledgement
. If it's not free,
people
 can't afford it and can't access
information
.
People
 should be able to learn new things without spending any money. If it is obtained, they will use their skills to the maximum.
such
 as computer programming, mathematics,
any
Correct word choice
and any
show examples
 type of
information
 about education or other topics.
Consequently
, there are numerous precious acknowledgements. but we can't sell them with money. Any type of
information
 should be accessible to the public. Every single person has got the right to access any kind of
information
.I believe it  will improve 
people
's culture and their awareness.
also
Add a comma
,also
show examples
  there are 
lots
 of 
advantage
Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
show examples
 to improving
lots
 of things.
Submitted by brsson06 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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