people living in the 21st century have a better life quality than people who lived in previous times. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is often argued that in the recent
century
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century,
show examples
the quality of
people
's
life
is better compared to the past centuries. I strongly agree with
this
statement and I think that the
life
of
people
is better in the current time
due to
advancements in technology and improvement in medical science
along with
other factors , I will explain my reason for
it
Correct pronoun usage
this
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in the upcoming paragraphs. First and foremost, in the 21st
century
due to
the enhancements in technology
people
's
life
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lives
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change very differently.
In other words
, the invention of the internet helps
people
to find their difficult tasks and
people
are enjoying their
life
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lives
show examples
more
comfortable
Change the word
comfortably
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way compared to the past
century
.
Secondly
, before the
21st-centurycentury
Replace the word
21st century
show examples
people
are
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were
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not more aware of medicines for that reason, more and more
people
lost their
life
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lives
show examples
due to
a lack of medicines and cures.
For example
, in the 18th ,
century
a huge Cholera disease
occur
Wrong verb form
occurred
show examples
in Europe,
as
Correct word choice
and as
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a result, millions of
people
died from
this
disease.
In contrast
, in recent times
due to
the development of medical
science
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science,
show examples
it has been possible to give
people
the right treatment at
right
Correct article usage
the right
show examples
time.
Furthermore
, the most noticeable fact is
women
's empowerment. To illustrate
this
, in the 19th
century
90% of
women
are
Wrong verb form
were
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only involved in to care
their
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of their
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children and household chores, but in recent times
due to
development
Correct article usage
the development
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in
women
's
empowerment
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empowerment,
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they are participating in education
as well as
full-time-time
Correct your spelling
full-time
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work.
For instance
, in a recent survey, it can be seen that more than 80% of
women
in India are involved in full-time work and live their
life
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lives in
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standard
Correct article usage
a standard
show examples
way.
Also
, in the 21st
century
Add a comma
century,
show examples
it is easy for individuals to connect with their relatives and friends over social media apps, which was not possible in the past decade. In conclusion, development in technology and medical science helps
people
to survive easily in
this
difficult world, which was not possible in the past centuries.
Submitted by alamskarbaz829 on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure but lacks a clear introduction and conclusion. Make sure to clearly state your position in the introduction and provide a strong conclusion summarizing your main points.
task response
Make sure to clearly address the prompt and provide comprehensive ideas and relevant specific examples to support your position. Ensure that your ideas are fully developed and connected to the main topic.
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