IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

people living in the 21st century have a better life quality than people who lived in previous times. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #st #century #life #quality #times
It is often argued that in the recent
century
Add a comma
century,
show examples
 the quality of
people
's
life
 is better compared to the past centuries. I strongly agree with
this
 statement and I think that the
life
 of
people
 is better in the current time
due to
 advancements in technology and improvement in medical science
along with
 other factors , I will explain my reason for
it
Correct pronoun usage
this
show examples
 in the upcoming paragraphs. First and foremost, in the 21st
century
due to
 the enhancements in technology
people
's
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 change very differently.
In other words
, the invention of the internet helps
people
 to find their difficult tasks and
people
 are enjoying their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 more
comfortable
Change the word
comfortably
show examples
 way compared to the past
century
.
Secondly
, before the
21st-centurycentury
Replace the word
21st century
show examples
people
are
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
 not more aware of medicines for that reason, more and more
people
 lost their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
due to
 a lack of medicines and cures.
For example
, in the 18th ,
century
 a huge Cholera disease
occur
Wrong verb form
occurred
show examples
 in Europe,
as
Correct word choice
and as
show examples
 a result, millions of
people
 died from
this
 disease.
In contrast
, in recent times
due to
 the development of medical
science
Add a comma
science,
show examples
 it has been possible to give
people
 the right treatment at
right
Correct article usage
the right
show examples
 time.
Furthermore
, the most noticeable fact is
women
's empowerment. To illustrate
this
, in the 19th
century
 90% of
women
are
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
 only involved in to care
their
Change preposition
of their
show examples
 children and household chores, but in recent times
due to
development
Correct article usage
the development
show examples
 in
women
's
empowerment
Add a comma
empowerment,
show examples
 they are participating in education
as well as
full-time-time
Correct your spelling
full-time
show examples
 work.
For instance
, in a recent survey, it can be seen that more than 80% of
women
 in India are involved in full-time work and live their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives in
show examples
standard
Correct article usage
a standard
show examples
 way.
Also
, in the 21st
century
Add a comma
century,
show examples
 it is easy for individuals to connect with their relatives and friends over social media apps, which was not possible in the past decade. In conclusion, development in technology and medical science helps
people
 to survive easily in
this
 difficult world, which was not possible in the past centuries.
Submitted by alamskarbaz829 on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure but lacks a clear introduction and conclusion. Make sure to clearly state your position in the introduction and provide a strong conclusion summarizing your main points.
task response
Make sure to clearly address the prompt and provide comprehensive ideas and relevant specific examples to support your position. Ensure that your ideas are fully developed and connected to the main topic.

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