sudies show that many criminals have a low level of education. For this reason, some people believe that the best way to reduce crime is to educate people in prison so they could get a good job once they are released. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

A section of society holds a belief that the effective method to mitigate the crime rate is to teach the folks in prison so it will
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
come in handy for them to get an occupation once they out from there. In my opinion,
this
is a predominant way to avert these
people
from being neglected by the community as some sectors still require their workforces.
On the other hand
, it is undeniable that most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
companies do not employ anyone who has a criminal record,
nonetheless
,
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
educational strategy,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will less likely open the public's eyes
how
Change preposition
to how
show examples
vital
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
kind of
people
to balance the
workforces
Fix the agreement mistake
workforce
show examples
.
Therefore
, the authorities cannot turn a blind eye to
this
matter, as well as
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
ensure that
this
strategy
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
to be
Correct your spelling
thoroughly
Correct article usage
a thorougly
show examples
thorougly
Correct your spelling
thoroughly
plan
Wrong verb form
planned
show examples
.
For instance
, the government should hire pro educators to educate the prisoners from time to time so they can widen their horizons in getting job placement.
On the other hand
, the ex-criminals will
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
no longer
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
bother about how they want to
Correct your spelling
survive
suvive
Correct your spelling
survive
once they are released.
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
Futhermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, they can prove to others that anyone can be
succedd
Correct your spelling
succeed
, despite they have
criminal
Add an article
a criminal
show examples
background.
As a result
,
people
can move on from their past
story
Fix the agreement mistake
stories
show examples
and encourage
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
to open
new
Add an article
a new
show examples
chapter
Fix the agreement mistake
chapters
show examples
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
their life. Seeing in believing, more society will respect
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
these
people
, and most importantly, there will be no
decrimination
Correct your spelling
discrimination
cases
happen
Wrong verb form
happening
show examples
to the ex-prisoners as often seen in the numerous news. In conclusion, there are a plethora of reasons why the authorities must apply
this
strategy for
reassuirng
Correct your spelling
reassuring
that ex-convicts' skills
not
Add a missing verb
are not
show examples
wasted.
Thus
, it is crystal clear shown that there are more benefits than its drawbacks
by
Change preposition
to
show examples
employing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
ex-criminals.
Submitted by hadamajwad on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: