IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

sudies show that many criminals have a low level of education. For this reason, some people believe that the best way to reduce crime is to educate people in prison so they could get a good job once they are released. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#sudies #show #criminals #level #education #reason #people #crime #prison #job
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A section of society holds a belief that the effective method to mitigate the crime rate is to teach the folks in prison so it will
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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come in handy for them to get an occupation once they out from there. In my opinion,
this
Linking Words
 is a predominant way to avert these
people
Use synonyms
 from being neglected by the community as some sectors still require their workforces.
On the other hand
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, it is undeniable that most
of
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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companies do not employ anyone who has a criminal record,
nonetheless
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,
with
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apply
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this
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 educational strategy,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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will less likely open the public's eyes
how
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to how
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 vital
of
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apply
show examples
this
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 kind of
people
Use synonyms
 to balance the
workforces
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workforce
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.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the authorities cannot turn a blind eye to
this
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 matter, as well as
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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ensure that
this
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 strategy
need
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needs
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 to be
Correct your spelling
thoroughly
Correct article usage
a thorougly
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thorougly
Correct your spelling
thoroughly
plan
Wrong verb form
planned
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.
For instance
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, the government should hire pro educators to educate the prisoners from time to time so they can widen their horizons in getting job placement.
On the other hand
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, the ex-criminals will
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
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no longer
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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bother about how they want to
Correct your spelling
survive
suvive
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survive
 once they are released.
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
Futhermore
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Furthermore
, they can prove to others that anyone can be
succedd
Correct your spelling
succeed
, despite they have
criminal
Add an article
a criminal
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 background.
As a result
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,
people
Use synonyms
 can move on from their past
story
Fix the agreement mistake
stories
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 and encourage
them
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apply
show examples
to open
new
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a new
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chapter
Fix the agreement mistake
chapters
show examples
for
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in
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 their life. Seeing in believing, more society will respect
to
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apply
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these
people
Use synonyms
, and most importantly, there will be no
decrimination
Correct your spelling
discrimination
 cases
happen
Wrong verb form
happening
show examples
 to the ex-prisoners as often seen in the numerous news. In conclusion, there are a plethora of reasons why the authorities must apply
this
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 strategy for
reassuirng
Correct your spelling
reassuring
 that ex-convicts' skills
not
Add a missing verb
are not
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 wasted.
Thus
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, it is crystal clear shown that there are more benefits than its drawbacks
by
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to
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 employing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
ex-criminals.
Submitted by hadamajwad on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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