Some think that teenagers should follow older people’s rules.other think that it is natural for them to challenge what older people say.discuss both views and give your opinion

There is an ongoing debate over whether should youngsters oppose old
rules
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or not. Some people claim that
this
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is a natural way of personal development,
while
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others firmly believe that
rules
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shouldn'
t
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be overwritten because it will bring chaos and uncertainty.
This
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essay will elucidate both sides of
this
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argument and provide a personal statement. On the one hand, it is evident that all animals are evolving with each century little by little.
Therefore
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, it is simply illogical to us, humans of the 21st century to follow the same
rules
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that people in the 20th century followed. Our society needs to progress, and to do so we need to create new
rules
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that will replace the old ones. Each new generation can offer a new mindset that may change our world for the better.
For example
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, in the past, it was considered normal for women to be hit by men for minor mistakes. Now, it is prohibited to hit a woman without a valid reason. Personally, I believe
this
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change has greatly improved our society.
On the other hand
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, something new always comes with a price. In
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scenario, the prices are very high. By changing the
rules
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that built our society we are risking to lose everything we have right now.
Furthermore
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, old individuals tend to rebel against new
rules
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,
due to
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their old mindset.
Nevertheless
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, I firmly believe that small adjustments to these
rules
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wouldn'
t
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be a problem at all. We shouldn'
t
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try to change something very important from the start, we should take small steps to our new bright future with great changes. Individuals can start solving some minor problems with the old laws and only
then
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move to important ones. In conclusion, the topic of
this
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essay was "some individuals believe that the youth shouldn'
t
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follow old laws".
Additionally
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,
this
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dissertation analyzed both sides of
this
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argument and provided relevant information.
In addition
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,
this
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dissertation contained a personal opinion that supported the main topic.

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coherence and cohesion
The introduction clearly states the topic and presents both views. However, make sure it flows better with a clear thesis statement.
coherence and cohesion
In the first paragraph, improve the logical flow by using more linking words to connect ideas. This will help the reader follow your argument.
task achievement
Expand on specific examples in a clearer way. Each point should relate directly to the topic of old rules versus new changes.
task achievement
Make sure the conclusion summarizes your main points and clearly states your opinion again, reinforcing your argument.
task achievement
You presented both sides of the argument well and gave a personal opinion, which is important for the task.
task achievement
Your example about women's rights was relevant and strong, showing clear understanding of societal changes.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
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