IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some say that Technology has made food surplus. Others say it has made food harmful. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#say #technology #food #surplus
These days people place a premium on
food
. Some people think,
food
 has been made harmful because of technology, while others argue that,
this
 has made
food
 in great amount. I completely opine that it has made
food
 surplus not dangerous. Its essay will state some valid evidence for the same. To embark, to advance a convincing theory I could deal with, the number of goods that are sent back to factories.
Furthermore
, products stay for a long time in supermarkets. You can realize
this
 from the production date on the merchandise.
In addition
 to what I have just said, the number of goods that are produced has increased significantly on the grounds of state-of-the-art technology.
For example
, Ramak company’s cheese machine produces 10 tones every day and it is really hard for them to sell
this
 amount of cheese.
Although
this
 growing population of the world needs
food
, factories produce more because of their new and fast machinery. In the forthcoming; paragraph I could deal with the effect it has had on
food
. Individuals think, that in
this
 ,process its ingredients will be lost. While the reverse is true.
This
 will not only eliminate all the dangerous bacteria
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
also
 don’t have any effects on the ingredients.
Additionally
, useful components can be added too. Which is really helpful these days. On top of that, new products with different benefits or vitamins were invented. Or even people that have especial diseases can use them.
For example
, special milk is produced that humans that can’t drink milk can use too. To conclude, gone is the idea that technology makes foods dangerous.
Submitted by s.pantea.rahnama on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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